Chronicles of Burning Alive
by WorldRuler
Summary: A friend prompted me by saying 'Cullens and Zombies'. This turned out to be a story of hybrids, finding oneself, accepting responsibility, controling gifts and... All right, zombies. AU, some lemon, some angst, some gore
1. Chapter 1

_**Chronicles of burning alive. **_

_** Book of Elaine the Duskborn.**_

Another long night was coming to an end and the sun was slowly rising above the horizon. We watched it, our faces turned towards the brilliant colours of dawn. We were sitting on a rooftop of an abandoned house. There were many of these in the United States now, three years after dead started walking among the living; people were fleeting South, where days were longer and chances of survival bigger. Zombies didn't like sunlight and fire and warmth.

We were covered in blood and gore from tonight's fight, but nobody seemed to want to move. If you could ignore mangled corpses scattered on the otherwise empty street, it was a peaceful moment. Simple, in a way. We breathed the upcoming day in and bathed in the luxurious thought that we have many hours before another night comes. Another night equalled another fight and there seemed to be no end to this.

"I need you to do something for me," Father said quietly. He was a man – a vampire – with greying dark hair and an air of a soldier around him, a very kind and collected person. "Both of you."

He didn't turn his head away from the view in front of us. From the corner of my eye I could see that my sister, Effie, had turned her pale, delicate face towards him. In fact we were half-sisters and hardly looked anything alike. She had her mother's sweet features and Father's dark hair, though hers were curly, the only obvious resemblance between the two of us. Effie was younger than me by almost fifty years, but one couldn't really tell, seeing as we were both hybrids and we weren't aging.

"I need you to travel West. I received a message from an old friend who seems to be in trouble. He's the head of a big vampire coven there and they managed to stay away from the main wave so far, but now zombies are rising in numbers there."

"They are being sent," I said.

"Yes," Father agreed. "You will help my friend out."

"And what about you?," Effie asked. "Why aren't you coming with us?"

"I can't leave those who stayed here alone, now can I? I'll try to organize an evacuation, if not for humans, then at least I'll search for nomadic vampires."

It was a perfectly logical answer, because Father was a very logical man, thinking in strategies. Something was off about his voice, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Some resignation, perhaps? Father was tired and it was obvious. It wasn't visible in his face, because vampire's face was unable to show fatigue, but his eyes lost some of their determination. His eyes that were golden – now that so many humans were killed, Father decided to at last follow the advice of this friend he'd already mentioned a few times before and to try and survive only on animal blood. Weirdly enough, zombies did not hunt animals, not before they became very hungry, and they were multiplying, wandering the streets of cities they once would be afraid to get near to. Effie and I were trying to eat human food when it was possible, but there wasn't much of it left, so we hunted with Father.

"Go sleep now," Father said. "You need to be on your way as soon as possible."

Father didn't need sleep, but Effie and I did, at least to some extent. We stood up and climbed through the window back inside. There was a small bedroom here, just two narrow beds and even more narrow passage between them. Effie curled up on one of the beds right away and I started rummaging through the wardrobe in the biggest bedroom.

Whoever lived here before must have been pretty well off and hadn't had time to pack. Lucky for us, most likely very unlucky for them. I found some clean clothes that would roughly fit and stuffed a sports bag with it. Hopefully we will run into some sort water on our way and we will have a chance to clean ourselves up and then change our clothes. I could smell very, very clearly that I reek of the dead, but there was hardly anything I could do about it right now. This town was deserted and there was no water nor electricity.

After I came back to the smaller bedroom, Effie was already asleep. I could see only the tangle of her dark hair from beneath the covers that she pulled as far up as they'd go. I laid down on the other bed and closed my eyes, trying to think about nothing. The problem was, I had a very good memory and every killed zombie and every corpse and every human we did not save – all of it came back to me in my dreams and in these moments before I fell asleep, very vivid and in far too much detail for my liking.

Last three years were a never ending nightmare. I tried to think about happier days, when Father, Effie and I were just living our simple lives, but they seemed too distant to actually believe in. I can't say that I was a stranger to death even then, but it was never so terrible… so unnecessary. Even though Father was a vampire, he had a lot of sympathy for humans. It went against his nature _not_ to kill them, but he taught Effie and me not to kill for the fun of it, as many other vampires did. He fell in love with two humans and had enough self-control to conceive children with them without killing them in the process, which was a great accomplishment. It was hard to formulate that idea, but it was more wrong when zombies killed than when my Father did.

I decided it will be best not to dwell on it. We did what had to be done – if we didn't, there wouldn't be any humans to have moral doubts about in the first place. I tried to remember something good instead, something that would give my head some much needed rest.

The first years after Effie was born and her mother, Heather, was changed into a vampire, was a good period in my life. My own mother wasn't much of a motherly figure, but Heather was it in every inch. She was very lovely, even more so after she was changed, freckled and wide-eyed. It took her very little time to get accustomed to me and the thought that her own child will be just like me, a hybrid, and after Effie finally came to this world, Heather was surprisingly gentle and patient for a new-born. She laughed a lot and made Father smile.

I winced in my half-sleep, because another memory came to me: after the end of the world as we knew it came, Father sent Heather away all the way to South America, hoping she will be safe there. Even though Effie and me were just half-immortals and she was a full vampire, she wasn't of much use when it came to fighting. She had all the strength and speed and everything that came with the transition, but still, she wasn't hard enough. Not a coward, just… Not made for this kind of life.

I wondered where Heather was now. It was impossible to say, really, but I was sure she was worried. She was just the kind. Sometimes I thought it would be better if Effie went with her. I was glad to have my sister with me, but she was too much like her mother. I could tell that this way of living was having its toll on her. I suppose I was more like Father in his ability to adapt.

When sleep finally did come, I was dreaming of sunny days and perfectly green grass. I was grateful for that – I needed some place of refuge, even if it was only in my mind.

Father woke me up about noon. Effie was already on her feet, getting ready for the road. She found a map and Father explained to us how to get to Forks. We both carried a bag over our shoulders and when the sun was at its highest, the three of us stood outside the house, ready to get on our way.

"Watch out for each other," Father said. "If everything goes as I'm planning, I'll meet you in Forks in a month. If not, just wait for me. I'll come."

"A month?," Effie echoed. "Why so long?"

"It takes time to organize an evacuation, Effie," Father said patiently. "And Elle, remember to stay focused."

"Of course," I said, though I wasn't too convinced. Concentration always was my weak point, be it in fight or in using my gift.

Just like many other vampires and hybrids, I am one of those who have other powers apart from the traditional immortality-related set. My ability is connected with fire, which isn't too handy around vampires, whose venom is extremely flammable. Mostly I just didn't use my gift, for obvious reasons, but sometimes the situation did call for this and then it required great amounts of focus that I hardly possessed at my best times and just didn't have at all when things were getting out of hand.

Father kissed Effie and then me on the forehead and we were on our way, running through the streets of the empty town until we ran across a lake. It seemed clean enough, without any corpses floating in the water, so we took off our dirty clothes and jumped into the cold water.

"That's a relief," Effie said, splashing water around with her hands. "I've been carrying liver in my hair for _days_ now."

"Ugh, disgusting," I said, combing my fingers through my own hair, which was liver-free, but terribly tangled. "When do you think we will get to Forks?"

I used my shirt, which I managed to make blood-free enough, to rub myself clean. I felt like my skin was able to breathe for the first time in weeks.

"Tomorrow morning, I guess? We just have to keep up the pace and avoid trouble."

"Right. Let's get going then."

I swam as close to the shore of the lake as it was possible, just enjoying the sensation, and then I walked out of the water. I picked out clean underwear, some jeans and a jumper and even, oh the luxury, a pair of too-big trainers. Everything became instantly dump, because I had no way of drying myself, apart from using my gift to produce some warmth, which would result in setting myself on fire, so I ruled it out pretty quickly. We started running again, making sure to keep away from the main roads. During daytime some humans travelled by car even here, though the prices of gas were getting higher and higher. People knew about zombies, but vampires and all the rest were still a mystery to them and that was for the better.

Evening came when Effie and I were running through some deserted villages. There was no one to take care of the crops, so they were withering away and going to waste. It was darkly ironic, really, seeing how many people were suffering from hunger.

We stopped in one of the villages, because we were hungry, too. We checked a few houses, but they were perfectly empty – their owners had enough time to move out. I wasn't sure whether I'm relieved for their sake of disappointed for ours.

When we walked out of the last home in that particular village, the street was already crawling with zombies. There had to be at least thirty of them and they seemed very hungry; it was obvious from their rapid decay that it was quite some time since the last time they had a satisfactory meal. This explained why there were so few animals around here.

Human meat is the highest ranked stuff in zombies' menus, but hybrids must smell pretty good, too, because they often try to take a bite out of one of us. They hate vampires, I suppose they see them as fellow dead that steal their meals and if there is enough of them, they try to tear a vampire to shreds. I'd seen it done once or twice and it was terrible.

The group started walking towards us, dragging their feet, growling. Effie dropped her bag to the floor of the porch so that it wouldn't get in the way. We didn't have any weapons, ammunition was rare nowadays, but it was fine, we had other means of fighting.

I took the first zombie's head off with one swift move and turned around before he even fell down. Another one, a female, was trying to sink her teeth into my arm, so I used my other hand to hit her with my fist. She backed away a few steps, which gave me just enough time to aim a high kick at the jaw of a tall zombie who was snapping his teeth at me. I turned again in the same movement and caught the female – jerked – and suddenly I had her head in my hand.

It was a lot like dancing, if one looked at it just the right way. A dance where every move counts, so you have to be very efficient, plan ahead, never lose your step.

And I did just that.

My foot slid on spilled zombie blood or something just as disgusting and I lost my balance, fell out of rhythm. Zombies were there to use that against me and Effie was too far away, engrossed in her own fight, and suddenly I felt myself being yanked backwards by my hair. My back arched and I tried to use my hands to keep approaching zombies away, but I lost my concentration and it was no use, there was a dozen of them grabbing at me, pulling, trying to bite or tear away a piece of flesh.

I snarled, which was one of those involuntary sounds that would just come out of my throat when I was really angry, and made another attempt at wrenching away. All I'd managed to achieve by that was straining my arm to the point of nearly breaking it. I could hear Effie, screaming something, deep in her own trouble. And then, when I was nearly sure this is it and I'm going to become a meal, the grip on my hair loosened and I fell backwards, landing on my bottom.

Someone pulled the zombies away from me and before I realised what's going on, there was nothing un-dead around me anymore, just perfectly still corpses. A vampire was standing over me, looking down with an unreadable expression. He looked like a teenaged boy, with longish dark hair falling over his black eyes. Effie appeared behind him, looking at him uncertainly.

"Who are you?," the vampire asked.

"I am Elle, and this is Effie," I said, jumping to my feet. "And who are you?"

"That's not what I'm asking. You aren't vampires, but not humans either, are you?"

"We are hybrids," Effie explained. "Half and half. Look, thanks for helping us out, but we need to get on our way, so…" Suddenly, she fell silent and snapped her head to the left. I looked the same way, because I'd smelled what she'd smelled. There was a human there, a girl of about fifteen years, looking at us with wide, terrified eyes. The vampire appeared right next to her and that was when I noticed that the girl was badly wounded. Something, most likely a zombie, had bitten off a considerable mouthful of her arm. She was barely standing and leaned heavily against the vampire.

"One false move and you are nothing but dead meat," the vampire warned us.

I nodded slowly. It was rather strange to see a vampire protecting a human that way, but who was I to question odd behaviour? Effie was looking at me tentatively, but I wasn't sure what to do any more than she was.

"It's all right," I said. "We aren't going to hurt her. We are just traveling through here."

"Where?," he asked. The girl wavered and he picked her up. A pained expression crossed his face and I understood how hard it must be for him not to feed on her, especially in his current, extremely hungry state. "Where are you going?"

"Forks. That's about… About eight hours from here," Effie explained. She was always good with distances and measurements.

"Are there humans there? Help?"

"I suppose," I said. "From what I've heard, it's one of the first towns up North that are still inhabited. We know… Well, our Father knows a doctor there. A vampire. Maybe he could help your friend out."

We both knew there was no 'maybe'. The girl had been bitten and there was no chance for her. She was as good as dead. Judging by the looks of her, she had three days tops. Soon she will fall asleep and never wake up, at least not as herself. She will turn into a zombie.

"Are we taking them with us?," Effie asked. "Are you sure?"

"He did save our lives, or at least mine. What was your name again?"

"I'm Jayden, and this is Sophia. Lead the way."

He nodded at Effie and she hesitated for a moment. She looked at me, but when I just shrugged, she took off running again. As a vampire, Jayden was faster than us, but he was carrying the half-unconscious girl, so it all evened out. We weren't speaking much. Effie was mildly insulted by my behaviour, Jayden was too busy worrying, Sophia was in no condition to talk and I didn't want to make attempts at awkward small talk.

We got to Forks just after sunrise. We slowed our pace, because there were military patrols roaming the streets here. There wasn't very much of them and they would retire for the day very soon now, but we didn't want to draw any unnecessary attention, especially with the state Sophia was in. It wasn't much trouble to get into the hospital, because of how many people were going in and out, including soldiers. In most towns, public buildings like that had been turned into shelters where people would hide for the night if they couldn't lock themselves in their own houses.

"What's wrong with _her_?," one of the soldiers asked, pointing at Sophia with the gun that he was casually carrying.

Jayden went very stiff, but Effie stepped around him and smiled at the soldier, locking her light brown eyes with his. "She has a cold, perfectly common thing," she said reasonably. "She… she's coughing and all."

Sophia wasn't coughing. She was barely even breathing, but the soldier nodded once and went his way. That was the thing with Effie – she had a gift, too, and was far better with it than I was with mine. She could make people see the world as she wished them to see it.

Jayden looked at us quizzically, but there was no way of explaining it with so many people around. Instead I started asking around for doctor Cullen, until one of the nurses pointed me towards his office. The hospital was gradually getting emptier as people were going back to their homes after the night.

I knocked and we stepped inside. Carlisle Cullen, my Father's friend, was sitting behind his desk. His face, though very handsome, was dark with worry. So were his eyes. "Hello," I said politely. "I'm Elle, and this is Effie, Jayden and Sophia. We've been sent by my Father… Well, not all of us, just me and Effie…"

"You have a real way with words, don't you, Elle," Effie interrupted me sarcastically. "Our Father is Cian Middleton, I believe you know him?"

"Cian, but of course," Carlisle said and for a moment a smile lighted up his face. Sophia woke up and Jayden sat her down very carefully on one of the chairs in front of Carlisle's desk. "And by father you mean…?"

"The man who inseminated our respectful mothers," Effie said. She was a rather short-tempered person. Carlisle flinched marginally and I clasped my hand on Effie's arm.

"I take it Father hasn't explained to you about his little secret," I said, pointing at Effie and me. "We are half-vampires, born of mortal mothers. Duskborn, some call us."

"That's quite sensational and hardly deserves glossing over," Carlisle said in awe.

"It will have to wait," I said. "I'm sorry, but we aren't here for the fun of it. Father said you need our help..."

"Can someone look at Sophia?," Jayden snapped. "She needs medical attention."

Carlisle rose from his chair and approached Sophia in weary steps. He examined her very carefully, but I could see the diagnosis in his eyes. It was painfully, heart-wrenchingly obvious, but when Carlisle shook his head, Jayden went mad. He looked like he's really going to hit Carlisle, but then he changed his mind at the very last moment and he punched the wall instead. It cracked under his blow, yet Jayden didn't seem affected. He leaned his forehead against the wall and made a strangled little noise that sounded too much like a sob.

I approached him slowly, making sure I won't get punched in the process, and patted him awkwardly on the back. I wasn't too good with this whole making people feel better thing, but it worked, or at least to some extent. Instead of hitting me, Jayden grabbed me by the arms and pulled me close, nearly crushing my bones in the process.

"I should get out of here," he breathed into my hair. "I'm really fucking hungry and I'm not sure…"

"It's okay," I said softly. "Come on. We can see if there are any animals in the woods. Effie?"

"Yes, I'll stay and… You know. Go."

I smiled at her and she smiled back, though somehow tentatively. She wasn't mad anymore, or at least not so much. Jayden grabbed my hand, urging me to move faster. He practically pulled me out of the room and then through the hospital's corridors.

By the time we got into the woods I was pretty sure my hand will never be quite the same. "So… Who exactly is Sophia?," I asked.

"A girl from my town. I was changed just after this all began, three years ago. I came back there two years later and most of them were gone, dead or just gone, I don't know. And she was on her own, so I took care of her. But I failed her. She's going to die now, because of me. Because I couldn't… Didn't…"

There was this noise again, this dry cry, the only kind of cry a vampire was capable of. It was only then that I realised that he was just a boy. He could be twenty-one at best, maybe twenty. Just few years ago he had a normal life, was a human. He lost more than I did, probably his whole family, so he just wanted to keep this one girl away from danger.

"You could change her," I said softly, sniffing the air. It didn't smell like zombie, which was good, but there were no animal traces, either.

Jayden had a better sense of smell than I did, so he sensed what I couldn't. He raised a hand to keep me quiet and gestured for me to follow him. I suspected he was trying to avoid answering my question, but followed him anyway. Soon we ran into some deer, just three of them, but it was enough for now. It wasn't until we were satisfied that Jayden spoke again. "I can't. It's all I can do not to… You know."

"Not to munch on her?," I supplied helpfully.

It was one of those moments when I failed at grasping the idea of proper behaviour. Jayden gave me a dark look and I wondered what kind of a person he was before all of that. I could hardly remember what kind of a person I was.

Carlisle Cullen took the four of us back to his home and introduced to his family. We prepared a bed for Sophia and Jayden was trying to talk her into eating, but she couldn't be convinced to sip even the smallest amounts of water, let alone eat. Jayden didn't like any of us coming close to her. I'd noticed that Sophia never spoke. When I asked Jayden about it, he said that she already was like that when he found her.

It was obvious that Carlisle was doing his best, but there wasn't much that could be done, apart from easing her pain. We all just waited.

"I've met your mom once," Esme, the lady of the house, said to Effie when we were all sitting in the living room, useless and very aware of a girl dying upstairs. "Lovely woman. She never said…"

"She couldn't have," Effie explained. "Hybrids are very, very rare. Apart from the two of us I know only Serena, Maysun, Nahuel and Jennifer. There are all half-siblings."

"I don't like Serena," I said automatically, as I always did when her name was being mentioned.

Effie rolled her eyes, but she was smiling, too. She stopped almost instantly, because Jayden came into the room. He crossed it and sat next to me on the couch. The atmosphere of waiting by the deathbed was back.

I took Jayden's hand and he gave it a squeeze, not half as hard as back in the hospital, more like to let me know he appreciated the gesture. He dropped our joined hands onto his lap and said, "I need her to be changed into a vampire, but I can't do it myself."

It worked like a charm. Everybody stared at us and only Effie didn't look like she swallowed something very sour.

"You can't make that choice for her!," Rosalie exclaimed. She was a real beauty, with light hair, not simply pale like mine, but actually golden-coloured.

"I'm not," Jayden said. "I would never. She's not… I can't ask her now, but when she was still… She asked me to change her, but I couldn't."

"I'm afraid that's not a reason to do it, Jayden," Carlisle said carefully. "We can't even be sure how her body will take the venom now that she already has zombie's poison in her."

"How old is she anyway?," Jasper asked. "It's illegal to change children under fourteenth year of life."

"She's fifteen and three months old, but that's not the point, is it? So I'm supposed to let her die?," Jayden yelled. He got up rapidly. I tried to pull him back by his hand, but he tore it away from mine and started pacing angrily. "Let her waste away in there and then kill her myself once she becomes a zombie? Tear her head off?"

I winced and Emmett and Jasper looked as if they were ready to keep him down if he started to act aggressively. I hoped it won't come to that, because there was only three of us and seven of them.

"She will be as good as dead if you change her," Edward pointed out.

Jayden spooned on his heel to look at him angrily. Emmett, Jasper and even me shifted uncomfortably. Violence was in the air. "What?," Jayden snarled.

"If she becomes a vampire, she will be damned."

Jayden actually stopped in his tracks and raised his eyebrows. Effie and me looked at Edward in confusion, but nobody else seemed to find this comment strange.

"Oh," Effie said at last. "Oh. Religion. Let's not go there, shall we?"

"Let's not," Jayden agreed slowly, eyeing Edward, who in turn looked equal parts annoyed and hurt. "Just… Please. Help her."

He looked pleadingly at Carlisle, who in turn looked at the tiny, pixie-like Alice. She was their seer and was apparently at least partially responsible for the decision-making process. She gazed ahead with a blank expression for a long moment and Jayden watched her very attentively.

"It's not easy to predict," Alice said at last. "The hybrids are intervening with my visions."

"The hybrids are here and can hear you," Effie said, but I shushed her.

"Even so, in most versions of the future I can see, it all goes well."

"See?," Jayden asked in a relieved, triumphant voice. "Sophia will be fine. It will go well. I _beg_ of you. Any of you."

He was looking at Carlisle, but it was Edward who reacted. He stood up and set his jaw, clenching his teeth. Jayden and him were roughly the same height, but both tried to look down at the other one. "Fine. I'll do it."

"What? Are you serious?," Rosalie protested.

"You need to be quick," Carlisle said. "She doesn't have much time left."

"We know," Edward said.

"We know," Jayden echoed.

Without so much as looking at one another, they left the room. I followed them with my eyes, wondering what the hell had just happened. I looked at Effie to make sure she's just as confused as I was. She was, which made me feel better.

All in all, I was relieved that Sophia will become a vampire. I'd seen a lot of death in my life, especially in the last few years, but this felt different. More personal. I started to care for Sophia just by watching Jayden care for her.

"Why don't we go to our room, Elle?," Effie asked.

I stood up and smiled weakly at the Cullens. I climbed the stairs after Effie, who was thoughtfully silent. Esme prepared a room for us, a double bedroom, nice and bright, with big windows from the floor to the ceiling. I looked at the forest visible behind them and Effie said, "I'm not sure about all of that. This girl and those vampires downstairs and Jayden… Something's just off about all of that, you know?"

"I don't, actually," I said honestly. "You are overthinking all of this. Just rest now, Effie, because at night we go out and hunt."

For a moment I thought that Effie had sighed, but I was probably imagining things.

I didn't sleep long, because Sophia's agonised screams woke me up.

I started counting hours.

I wasn't the only one who had serious issues with listening to Sophia changing. Jayden was on edge the entire time he had to spend at home, that is during daytime, because at nights he would go out with Effie and me.

On the last day of Sophia's transition, when she became mostly conscious, it became unbearable. It took Edward, Jasper and Emmet to restrain Jayden from going into her room. Sophia was calling out to him, in a way at least.

"Jay!," she would scream, her voice becoming clearer and less hoarse now that she was so close to waking up as a vampire. "Kill me, kill me, kill me!"

It was freezing blood in my veins to listen to her begging like that. I knew nothing of the pain of transition, spare for the stories I've heard and memories of my mother and Sophia's mother changing. It seemed like I was better off that way, even though it meant at the same time that I've never been a human.

"Elle!," Jasper called when Jayden made an exceptionally good attempt at tearing himself from their grasps. I had no idea what he was going to do once he did manage to get through them, and I didn't think he did, either. "Come over here!"

I was sitting on the stairs, one floor above them. Now I stood up and slowly walked down the stairs, until I was standing mere feet from them.

"Take him somewhere," Emmet said.

Jayden really was putting up a fight. He still had some of the new-born's strength, so he was a challenge even for the three older vampires. "Jayden," I said, trying to sound reasonably. "Let's get out of here. Some fresh air will do you good."

I tugged at his hand and, to my amazement, he listened to me. He sent me an agonized look and we ran downstairs and later into the woods. We weren't exactly hunting, just trying to get as far away from the Cullen's house as we could.

"Wait. I think something's wrong, Elle."

For a moment there I thought he wants to go running back to Sophia, because his voice was really urgent, but he was looking somewhere ahead of him. It was the first time he used my name, so I was alarmed.

"But it's daytime," I said stupidly.

The very next moment I was on my back and there were two wolves in front of me, snarling and baring their teeth at Jayden, who was backing away slowly. More wolves were coming from between the trees, but it was obvious they weren't going to attack me, they were too busy looking threateningly at Jayden. They were bigger than normal wolves, too.

"Fucking daytime," Jayden murmured. "And what difference does it make to _them_?"

None, apparently. I was considering jumping in front of the wolves, even though it wouldn't do much good, when one of the wolves bit Jayden's hand and tore it away with sickening sound, like metal being torn apart. I clasped my hands against my mouth, trying to run around the wolves, but they seemed to consider me a human in distress and were trying to guard me against the vampire.

I did the last thing I should. It wasn't really voluntarily, all I had to do was to let go of all the fear and all the rage I'd been bottling inside me for who knows how long. Blood boiled inside my veins and I felt a rush of thrilling freedom and excitement. Everything around me went red and orange and scalding hot, but at the same time it felt good. Flames danced around me, reaching towards the wolves, catching them with their blazing fingers. Wolves were yelping and whimpering and then suddenly they were screaming.

I gasped, because all of a sudden they weren't wolves, they were humans. Four bronze-skinned, tall, muscular, naked men and one equally naked woman. It wasn't very good for my concentration, but I tried to remember that if I won't get a grasp on myself, Jayden will be in trouble, too. I would fall to my knees, but I was still sitting, so instead I closed my eyes and blocked my ears with my hands to cut it all away and tried to think cool, even thoughts.

It helped. I could feel the flames extinguishing as I was breathing the last of the heat in. When I opened my eyes again, there was just a lot of burned grass and scorched trees – and five naked humans and one vampire. Jayden was just attaching his hand back. When I gazed at him, trying not to stare at anybody else, he gave me a look from underneath raised eyebrows. The air smelled faintly of burned flesh.

"What the fuck, Elle?," Jayden asked.

On the up side, I seemed to had managed to take his mind off of Sophia. I was a strong believer in positive thinking. From the corner of my eye I could see that the men and the woman were putting on some trousers, which also was good. I wasn't a prude, but there was a time and place for everything, and this didn't seem like a good moment for nakedness.

I couldn't be sure whether the wolves-turned-humans would attack again now that the fire was gone, but I wasn't taking any chances. I backed away and then jumped, catching a tree branch above my head. I pulled myself up and crouched on the branch, looking down at all of them.

"Just wait," I said. "Let's talk."

They weren't looking as if they are going to attack any moment now, but it was better to be safe than sorry, so I straightened up, ready to jump onto another three. They were just staring at me. I really wished that somebody would say something. I coughed, trying to kill the awkward silence, and then the only woman in the company fulfilled my wish. She had hawk-like eyes and short hair and looked very stern.

"Is she a _leech_?," she asked in disgust. "You can't be serious."

"This is the law, Leah," said the oldest of the men present in apologetic voice.

Leah seemed to be angry, but whether it was at me or at the man, I couldn't tell. "Anyway, I don't have to look at that," she said. She pulled a shirt out of a little bundle that she had attached to her thigh, just like all the others did, and started pulling it over her head. Leah had a rapidly swelling bruise on her face, where Jayden hit her. She gave me a dark look, and then sent another towards Jayden, and disappeared between the trees, trembling in rage.

"You can… You can get down now," said another man. "We won't hurt you."

He spoke to me in a very gentle voice, as if he was afraid to scare me away. I looked at him. He was still very young, in fact more a boy than a man. We was tall, with broad shoulders and, just like all the others, wore his hair short. He had warm, black-brown eyes with which he looked at me in such deep adoration…

I clenched my fingers on the tree-bank, nearly breaking it. It was very, very disturbing, the way he seemed to have eyes just for me. I wouldn't move from that tree if it depended just on me, but I wanted to get to Jayden, too, so I jumped down onto the burned grass and started stalking towards him. Nobody stopped me.

"I'm Elaine Middleton. Elle," I said, not sure why I even used my last name when it couldn't possibly tell them anything. "And this is my friend, Jayden… Um, Jayden."

"So, are you?," another one asked excitedly. He seemed to be the youngest here, a boy, though he was nearly as tall as all the rest. "You know, a vampire?"

"My Father is," I said. "I'm a half-vampire."

I was explaining it over and over again for the last few days and it felt weird. Good, in a way, because I didn't have to pretend anymore. With the state that the world was in right now, making my secret known couldn't make much of a difference. I looked at the tall man to make sure that he still had the same expression. He did. Jayden was awfully silent. "And who are you?"

"My name is Sam Uley," said the oldest man. "This dumbfounded here is Jacob Black. The woman who just left was Leah Clearwater, and this is her younger brother, Seth." He pointed at the boy. "And that's Jared Cameron. We are werewolves of the Quileute tribe. I am the Alpha of this pack."

That was too much for me. Jayden apparently shared my thoughts, because he said, "What the fuck, Elle?," and then, "This is what I get for listening to you."

„And how exactly is it my fault?," I asked. My voice sounded terribly shrill to my own ears, which was probably because of all the stress.

"Well, it was you who wanted to get me out of the house, right? Let's go to the woods, Jayden!," he said, mimicking my voice which I was sure wasn't _that_ high. "Let's hunt a bit! Let's get attacked by fucking werewolves!"

"I never said that! "

"Don't talk to her like that," Jacob said.

Jayden and me turned around at once. I hadn't noticed how close we were standing now, ready to jump at each other's throats. Now we both glared at Jacob, who wasn't looking as mesmerised as before. He was glaring at Jayden, who in turn wore an expression of deep antipathy. "The grown-ups are talking, wolf boy."

"And just how old are you, huh?," Jacob asked in return, possibly mostly because he was embarrassed.

"One hundred and twenty-three," I said, cutting off any discussion. "All right. Sam, we didn't know this is your land. We are sorry for the trouble we've caused. We'll be going now."

"You don't have to apologize to them, they are the ones who tore off my arm," Jayden pointed out.

"Are we going to just let a leech wander away?," Jared asked in disbelief.

"The girl _is _Jake's imprint," Sam said.

"Yeah, ok, but _he_ isn't," Jared said, jerking his chin towards Jayden, who was getting more and more annoyed by the minute.

"I am what?," I asked, but nobody was paying any attention.

"You know I can't do anything to upset the imprint and he's probably her boyfriend or something," Jacob said with resentment. "Well, if I went away and you just…"

"Try your luck," Jayden said darkly.

"Upset the what?," I asked again.

"Wouldn't you like the imprint's boyfriend dead?," Jared asked.

"I'm not her boyfriend," Jayden said, in my opinion totally missing the point.

"Why do you keep using this word?," I asked.

It was getting ridiculous. Testosterone was running high here and I felt not only ignored, but plain invisible. I was thinking about just going back home, but I was too annoyed for that. I wanted some answers and I wanted them now. While Jayden and the werewolves kept arguing and floating further and further away from the main topic, I decided to do something drastic.

I whistled on my fingers, producing an ear-splittingly loud sound. Everybody went very quiet, just staring at me.

"Glad to have your attention," I said.

"I can't hear anything!," Jared complained, twirling his finger in his ear.

"Then read my lips: Silence! Great. First of all, nobody's killing Jayden, that is except for me. Jayden, try to calm down. And last but not least, can somebody explain me what does 'the imprint' mean?"

To my astonishment, Jacob blushed. For one terrible moment I thought that it's some sort of a dirty word for the werewolves. I raised my eyebrows, trying to prepare myself for being mortally offended.

"It means a person a werewolf imprinted on," he said.

"Because that explains so much," Jayden said sarcastically, but I elbowed him in the ribs to keep him silent. "Ouch!"

"And imprinting is when… When we, werewolves, find our soul-mates. This one person becomes the most important one on Earth for us and we – me – would do anything for that person – for you."

"What," I said, too disturbed by the idea to force any proper intonation into that word. "You can't just walk around and imprint on people. That's not fair. How can you… I'm sorry, I respect your traditions and all that, but please stop. I don't even know you."

"He can't help it," Sam said diplomatically. "It may seem a bit too much at the beginning, but from now on Jake wants all the best for you."

"But what if I don't want him to want all the best for me?," I asked. "Don't I have a say in that?"

"Of course you do!," Jacob said, taken aback.

"It's just that, their werewolves are what the imprint wants them to be, so the imprints usually can't help but fall in love…," Jared said, miraculously regaining his hearing abilities.

"I don't think that's how it works," I said carefully. "No, I'm sorry, but it's still creepy. So I have a choice, but I wouldn't want it either way? Not buying it."

"This is sick and you have no need to be sorry, Elle," Jayden said seriously. "Come on. Let's get you home. I want to check on Sophia now."

I nodded, sneaking a glance at Jacob, who looked crushed. Following Jayden's advice, I wasn't sorry for him. I felt raped without even being touched, which was quite an achievement. Seeing that I wasn't very likely to move on my own, Jayden caught my hand and pulled me towards the house. There seemed to be a lot of that between us. It was nice that even though we were arguing just moments ago, now he was willing to defend me.

We ran through the forest without looking behind. I was slightly afraid that they may follow us, but they didn't. As we approached the house the screaming got louder and louder and soon everything else was forgotten. Sophia was still calling out to Jayden and even though he didn't go to her, his face was twisted in agony.

"We don't have to go inside," I said. "There is no change in her state."

"Maybe, but… How long do you think before it gets dark?"

I looked up at the sun. "Four hours?," I hazarded a guess and he sighed. I knew what he felt. Jayden preferred to be away from the house and if he could burn away some of his anger by killing zombies, that was even better.

There weren't many of them in Forks, in fact. I had a sneaking suspicion that Father coined this lie to keep Effie and me out of harm's way. I wanted to ask Carlisle about it, but I was convinced he was in on it, too. He must had been the one who told my Father about the soldiers in Forks. Still, we spent the night looking for zombies out of town, which was rather reckless. It was pure luck that we didn't run into many of them, so neither of us got hurt.

When we came back right after sunrise, silence welcomed us. We exchanged looks, grinning at each other.

Sophia's transition was over.

We ran up the stairs, nearly falling over ourselves in the process. Jayden was faster than me, so he was the first to get into her room, but I was right behind him. I stopped dead next to Edward.

Sophia must had just woken up, because she was standing next to the bed, simply looking around with her wide eyes, which were red now. She was paler than she used to be, but she didn't look as sickly. Her short, light brown hair wasn't tangled anymore and it looked shiny and healthy. All in all, she was the sweetest fifteen-year-old I'd even seen.

That is until she snarled and lunged herself at Rosalie, who in turn caught her and pushed her to the ground. Sophia jumped up again and tried to attack Jasper, who caught her wrists and linked them behind her back. Sophia started thrashing, but Emmet helped Jasper to contain her.

"She doesn't recognise us, does she?," Jayden asked. "I didn't recognised anyone after I've been changed. It was all a blur, just the thirst and the anger."

"I can try to calm her down," said Jasper, whose gift was connected with controlling emotions.

"Let me," Effie said. She stepped from behind Emmett, where she was hiding from any potential attack, and stopped in front of Sophia. She looked the trashing vampire in the eye, which was a challenge. "Now, Sophia, dear. Look around. We are all friends here and nobody will hurt you. That is, as long as you won't try and hurt anybody here. In that case, you will spontaneously combust and trust me, it will be painful."

Jayden winced and even I opened my eyes wide. Effie could be surprisingly harsh and creative for someone who was so strongly displeased every time she had to use violence. Even though, Sophia seemed convinced. She started trying to free herself and just looked at Effie with her wide eyes. Emmett and Jasper let go of her with some hesitation, but she stayed glued to the spot.

"Can I take her hunting now?," Jayden asked.

"I'll go with you," Edward said. "I did change her, after all."

"I'm very proud of you, son," Carlisle said. "Just be careful."

"And don't run into any more wolves," I added, but they were already gone, jumping out through the window.

Carlisle furrowed his eyebrows. "Wolves! I forgot to warn you. Did you meet the Quileutes?"

I was wondering how does one forget about something like a pack of werewolves running in the woods all around his own house, but I let it go. "We did. One of them imprinted on me."

The Cullens gasped collectively. Effie, who didn't know the word, just frowned. I explained her what does it mean and then she laughed, which wasn't too nice. "Puppy love," she said between giggles. "Isn't it charming?"

"No?," I asked. "It's creepy, that's what it is."

"I don't think the Quileutes see it like that," Alice said softly.

"Sure, from their perspective it's a very clever mechanism. This is my imprint. My imprint is mine, hence I can do whatever with her. Tradition. I can't believe I'm the first one to point it out. Surely some other girls or boys…?"

"From what we know, it's just girls," Carlisle said. "There was some sort of ruckus when one of the Quileutes imprinted on a girl of three, but obviously no protests on her side." My face was probably saying it all, because Carlisle quickly added, "The relationships are not sexual if the imprint doesn't wish them to be. And definitely not when she's underage."

I was wincing from the moment that he said 'just girls', but I let it go. It was getting better and better. "Can we all just agree not to use the word 'imprint' ever again?," I asked.

"Oh, no!," Effie cried out. "I was going to address you only this way from now on!"

"No, Effie," I said simply. "I'll go wait for them downstairs."

The truth was, I wanted to be alone, which was hard to achieve when you lived with ten other people, most of whom were vampires and had enhanced hearing, making any private conversation close to impossible. I sat on the stairs in front of the house, just thinking. I wasn't ever again going into the woods, that much was sure.

I wondered how Sophia and her happy parents were doing. Effie's hypnosis wouldn't work forever and at some point Sophia was bound to shake it off and go back to wanting us all dead. Supposedly she was going to be twice as bad as a regular new-born, seeing as she was also a teenager with all the drama that came with the term. Another thing was, she really had a lot of bad things in her past. It was bound to leave a scar on her psyche.

They came back some time later. Sophia was covered in blood, animal, judging by the smell, and the two vampires seemed happy with the hunt. I smiled at them, relieved that at least this went all right. We had too few reasons to celebrate.

Sophia looked at me in a very peculiar way and suddenly I felt very dizzy.

_ It is officially the weirdest thing ever. Weirder than when I saw my neighbor, Mr. Thomas, eating Mrs. Jenkins on her porch. Weirder than waking up as a vampire (not to mention finding out that they exist). One minute I was looking at Elle, who was sitting on the stairs, and wondering what is she frowning about, and the next moment I am watching my own body falling to the ground. As if it isn't strange enough that my body looks different from what I remember._

_ "Sophia?," Jay says alarmed, picking me – my body – up. "What's going on?"_

_ "I have no idea," Edward admits. "It can have something to do with her gift activating? It's anybody's guess. Take her to Carlisle. And what happened to you, Elle?"_

_ I go stiff. They don't know what is happening! I am going to tell them that suddenly I am in a strange body and I want out, now, but then again, maybe not. I mean, what harm could it be if I just explore a little? Just as I'm thinking __that, memories start flooding me, and they definitely aren't mine. They are Elle's, pretty recent ones, I think. I watch them like a good movie and try not to listen to Elle's inner monologue that accompanies them. Is she mental? She always thinks the stra__ngest things. Like when that werewolf pretty much confessed his undying affection and all she thinks about is how gross it is. Gross! I would be in seventh heaven!_

_ I can be. I can pretend to be her, just a little bit. No one will ever know._

_ "Elle?"_

_ "Yeah, I'm fine, sorry," I say. Elle's voice sounds different from the inside._

_ They disappear inside with my body and I follow them with eyes that for now are mine, then I look down. Elle dresses horribly, like a homeless person, in anything she can find. If I were her (which now I am, ha!) I would dress up more. Ok, I know we are in the middle of a war, but please. She is kind of pretty, though she doesn't look like supermodels. She is skinny, or at least that's how she looks underneath her baggy jumper, and a bit taller than me. Her eyes are blue and her hair is curly and so fair it looks silver. I wanted to dye my hair this way, but my mom wouldn't let me._

_ I reach further into Elle's mind to see if her parents have the same issues, but there is a wall there. She fights against me like she doesn't want me to know. It doesn't feel too nice, because now I remember I'm not alone here. Fair enough. Let her have her secrets._

These weren't my thoughts. It wasn't me who moved my hands and used my mouth to speak. It was hard to believe Jayden wouldn't see a difference between Sophia and me, but I suppose he was too preoccupied. I felt contained, closed in a small box and shoved to the far back of my own mind. I tried to scream and push against the walls of that prison and attack Sophia, but there was no use.

I could hear her thinking, but I didn't think she could hear me. Instead I tried to pull as many memories inside my box as I could, to keep them away from Sophia. There was a word, 'Duskborn', echoing inside my head and it caught her attention, but I wouldn't let her see anything connected with it. She just knew that it meant a hybrid.

I was sitting back and watching as Sophia used my body to stand up. She was moving awkwardly and she knew it. She looked at the house to see if anybody is watching her. I was, but she didn't care. She turned towards the forest and ran and suddenly I knew her plan. I tried to fight with new power, yelled at her not to be stupid, to stop this very instant. She didn't.

She wanted to see for herself what does it mean to be alive. Use all the chances she never had.

And she was planning to do it with my body, because that meant no consequences for her.

Oh please, Sophia, please, please, please.

Running with Elle's body feels different. She is slower than me as a vampire, but still faster than humans, so it takes me no time at all to find the place where Elle and Jay first met the werewolves. Ground is black here, because Elle burned the grass away. It's tempting to try and use her power just a little, but I'm afraid I may not be able to control it any better than she can. I smell the air just like Edward taught me to and tracks are there, visible for Elle's non-human senses. I take off running again, careful not to be seen.

_ I get to Jacob's little house in no time. It's on the edge of the woods and there is an open garage next to it. Jacob is inside, tinkering with a motorbike, which is cool beyond words. Also, he has his shirt off. I have no idea how Elle can just gloss over how good looking he is when she thinks about him._

_ He senses me when I approach him and looks up. I can see he's confused and then he also remembers he's supposed to be mad at me – well, her. No wonder. She treated him like a right bitch._

"Came to share your thoughts some more?," he asks sarcastically. "I can call my dad or something, he doesn't know how fucked up we all are, but I'm sure he'll be thrilled to hear it."

_ Right, so he's really mad. Still not surprising or anything. "I came to apologize," I say __sweetly and Elle's voice is really good for that. "I was mean and egoistic as hell."_

_ He softens at once. I try not to stare too much at his muscular arms and his torso, oh my God his torso. He notices me staring anyway and I think he doesn't mind, because he smiles a little. "It's not like I can't see where you are coming from, just… You know how to make it really sting, don't you?"_

_ "Yeah…," I say. I haven't noticed this in Elle, but whatever. I smile at him and he smiles back. This is just perfect. I don't have any experience with guys, because I was twelve when it all started and my mom had a no-boys policy, but it is easy. "So, what are you doing with that bike?," I ask to show interest. I've heard somewhere that guys like it._

_ '_Come on, Sophia,' I thought at her with desperation, 'not for my sake, but for your own. Is it really how you want your first kiss to go? With a boy who thinks you are someone else? With someone else's lips?'

It had no effect on Sophia. She kept asking Jacob about the bike and giggling when she didn't know something, which was nearly all the time. Neither she nor I knew anything about mechanics in general. I had the worst feeling about where this was going, so instead of watching I tried to occupy myself with remembering my own first kiss.

Sophia would probably be scandalised if she knew it, but it wasn't until I was nineteen. As a hybrid I was aging differently from human girls. I looked seventeen when I was only seven and my father was afraid, and most likely rightly so, that someone may hurt me. It was fair easier for me to mingle with humans, because I looked almost like them, only my skin was paler and it glowed in the direct sunlight. It was with a young student who got into trouble. Some young men tried to rob him in a dark park. I was there, too, walking back home. They didn't see me, but I saw them. I could hear them threatening the student, so I did what I really shouldn't do. I jumped from behind the trees, all teeth and claws and ferocious growling – and some flame, which wasn't exactly what I'd planned. Back then it was easier to scare people and the three attackers ran away, screaming about vampires. They weren't too far away from the truth.

The student was looking at me with terrified and fascinated eyes. He was very handsome, with sharp cheekbones and jet-black hair. I thought him to be lovely, more so than other humans.

"I believe I owe you a thank you, miss," he said.

"It is not needed," I said quickly, becoming more and more embarrassed. "And it is all right to just call me 'Elaine'".

"I shall take that liberty further, with your consent, and call you 'Elle'." He was the first person to use that diminutive and it stayed with me ever since. I was afraid that Father will be worried if I won't get home soon, so I tried to explain it to the boy who said his name was James.

He looked taken aback that a creature like me should even have a father. "I shall insist on the thank you, then," he said and encircled my waist with his arm. I was unprepared for that, but excited and terribly nervous. He didn't have much experience, either, but he was very enthusiastic and kissed me in a manner as unearthly as he believed me to be.

And this is how the first kiss should be. Awkward and sweet, something to remember all your life and be just a bit ashamed of. It shouldn't be perfect. It should be honest.

It pained me greatly that Sophia used my body like it was a pair of gloves, but I was also worried for Sophia's sake. She was very fragile underneath it all, I could easily tell, and it _was_ going to affect her. There was also a tiny, muffled voice that I strongly suspected to be my molested conscience, which was telling me to think about Jacob. Maybe I didn't like him, but he didn't deserve to be lied to. Especially not about that.

'Sophia, just think about it… Just think about how painfully I'm going to kill you once they get you out of my head!'

"So, does this… Jayden know that you are here, Elle?," Jacob asks. I lean over some toolbox that she shows me, trying to look cute and interested.

_ "I think not," I say honestly. "I don't have to tell him where I'm going. It's not like he's my dad or something."_

_ "I was meaning to ask. Where is your dad? You mentioned he's a vampire."_

_ I reach into Elle's memories, but she mostly tries to keep them away from me. Still, there is enough on the surface. "He kind of dropped me here. Me and my sister," I add quickly, remembering about Effie._

_ "Do you think I could meet him?," he asks nervously._

_ "What?," I gasp. "Like officially meet him? In a boyfriend-ish way?"_

_ He grins hopefully. This is my moment. I nod and give him a small smile to encourage him and then he leans in and I nearly faint, because this is really it. He grabs my arms and suddenly he's not grinning anymore, he's very serious._

"_What is going on here?," he asks from between his gritted teeth. "How do you look just like her?"_

_ "Just like who? It's me, Jacob, really!"_

_ "Don't lie to me! Where is Elle? You feel a bit like her, but not exactly. I thought I remembered something wrong, but__ no. You aren't her. Who are you?"_

_ "You are hurting me!," I scream, trying to wriggle away. "I am Sophia, ok? I live with Elle. I don't know how this happened, I was just… Let me go! I want to go to Jayden."_

_ "You will," he promises darkly. He picks me up like I'm a sack of potatoes and throws me over his shoulder. I can feel him trembling with anger and I'm honestly scared. He runs through the forest in long strides and this is ridiculous, so I try to bite or kick him, but he doesn't seem to mind. I call him names and yell at him all the things that Elle said earlier and then some more, but he doesn't make a single sound._

_ He stops in front of the house and Jayden is there with Emmett and Rosalie._

_ "What are you doing with Elle, dog?," Emmett snarls, ready to attack._

_ "That's not Elle," Jacob says evenly. "She said her name is Sophia. Do what you must, but get her out of that body!"_

_ "Sophia," Jayden says slowly. "You are in deep trouble, Sophia, you know that?"_

_ "Don't treat me like a child!," I yell as Jacobs puts me on my feet none-too-gently._

_ "You are a child," Rosalie says. "You just proved that. Now it's time to fix it, don't you think?"_

_ "Fine! But just because I want to, not because you told me to." I storm up the stairs and to the room where my body lies. Edward is there, watching over it. I can tell that he heard everything, but he says nothing. I glare at my body and the vertigo is just off ._

I opened my eyes with a start, realising I'm standing in the middle of Sophia's bedroom. It felt brilliant to be able to move my own body again, to think just my own thoughts, to be free. I focused my eyes on Sophia, who was just getting up. "You!," I screamed at jumped at her.

If Edward hadn't caught me, I would had quite possibly tore her to shreds with my own hands. Instead I was just screaming and kicking while Edward held me from behind with my legs inches above the ground.

"Is it Elle now?," Effie asked, peering into the room.

"Let go of me, Edward! She took my body on a joy ride! I have to murder her!"

"It's her," Effie said, relieved. "Stop being obnoxious, Elle, I'm trying to hug you."

I went still, allowing Effie to encircle me with her arms. It was an awkward hug, because Edward was still holding me, afraid I may change my mind at any moment and lunge myself at Sophia, who now backed away against a wall and was looking at me with terrified eyes. I sighed heavily.

"Just talk to her, Jay," I called towards Jayden, who was just climbing the stairs. "She's your responsibility now. I need to calm down. No, really, Edward, you can let go of me."

I did manage to smack Sophia over the head before I left, which gave me some satisfaction. I nearly jumped off the stairs and managed to catch Jacob before he disappeared into the woods again. Left to his own devices, he decided to retreat from the enemy's territory.

"Wait," I said and he stopped dead in his tracks. "It's me, Elle. For real."

"I know," he said, turning around. "And what happened to this Sophia?"

"She's dead."

"You killed her?," he asked, horrified.

"Not yet. But she's as good as dead the minute Jayden and Edward let her out of their sight."

Jacob laughed uncertainly. I wasn't exactly joking, but smiled nevertheless.

"I won't bother you anymore," he said. "I'm sorry you had to watch all of it, Elle. I should've noticed earlier."

"And how exactly?," I asked. "You figured it out and I'm grateful. Sophia made one good point. I was mean."

"You had every right to."

"Which doesn't mean I should. I don't need to be making enemies now, I need to be making friends, so… Truce?" I outstretched my hand and Jacob took it in his own, bigger and warmer, and shook it.

"Truce."

It surely was the most short-lived truce in the history of hybrids-werewolves relations. It lasted a bit over twenty-four hours, that is until the werewolves worked out that the Cullens broke another truce, an older one, by changing Sophia. Apparently, they weren't allowed to kill any human and it didn't particularly matter that Sophia would die anyway if Edward hadn't changed her just in the nick of time.

As an effect of this, we found ourselves standing outside the Cullens' house, surrounded by roughly twenty werewolves. They were in their wolf forms, so Edward was translating for us, reading their minds. I was trying to guess which one was Jacob.

"Why aren't they attacking?," Effie asked. She was standing behind Emmett, which seemed to be her typical spot, with one arm around Sophia, who was looking ahead with terrified eyes, which seemed to be her typical expression. "I mean, no protests here, but why aren't they attacking?"

I was still angry at Sophia – I strongly doubted I will stop any time in this century – but there was no way anyone was going to lay a hand or a paw on her. And if it took manhandling Jacob and his friends a little, so be it.

"They are arguing," Edward whispered back. "Jacob and Sam can't agree. Sam is all for killing every single one of us, save for Elle, because she is the… The 'i' word," he corrected himself quickly, catching my eye. "And Jacob doesn't wish to fight with us, but he can't disobey his Alfa."

"This is ridiculous, " I said loudly, so that everybody could hear me clearly. "All right, listen up or I will whistle again." One of the wolves snapped his head towards me and I just knew this is Jared. I looked at the wolf who I hoped was Sam. "I'm sorry for spoiling the fun by looking at the big picture, but we have zombie apocalypse on our plates, which I believe to be more important than old truces and bitten girls who are all right with it in the first place. Are they? I mean, are you, Sophia?"

"What? Yeah…"

"Smooth as always, sister," Effie murmured.

"Silence," I said, which was becoming my favourite word. "We are on the side of the humanity here and I suppose you are, too. Sophia here? Alive and happy, though not for long, if she won't keep away from me. And if changing everybody is what it takes to stop this madness, so be it."

I was starting to lose my cold reason and spinning downwards towards hysteria, but I didn't care. I took a deep breath to calm myself down.

"Sam asks what gives you the right to decide such things," Edward translated. "In other words, why you."

"I… I just don't want to see anybody else dying," I was speaking faster and faster. "I know this is very unlikely, especially with Father trying to keep me away from anything that is important because of his fear that my own mother may one day remember about me and decide to kill me, him and Effie here! So forgive me for trying to keep the casualties to the minimum while all of you want to kill each other!"

Alice caught my arm to calm me down. I was gasping for air now, not sure if I want to yell at them some more, hit something or run away. I could feel Effie's burning eyes on me. She wasn't privy to my mother's story, because Father and I preferred to keep it to ourselves. My veins were full of fire once more and it took all I had to keep it down.

Esme took my other arm, though whether it was for my comfort or their safety, I wouldn't know. Effie said my name, but it was coming from very far away. A single tremor went through my body and I wretched myself free. "Just… Sorry about that."

"Elle!"

I wasn't listening, too busy just running away from everything. I could hear Effie still calling behind me and trying to catch up with me. I wanted her to, but I couldn't stop. If I did, my own words would catch up with me and I was afraid it may just kill me.

"For fuck's sake, Elle, wait!"

Effie wasn't very fond of swearing, so I knew she was very angry and had ran out of ideas how to express it. I stopped dead, tripping and leaning heavily against a tree. Effie was just behind me.

She slapped me.

"This is how I find out? Surrounded my strangers? Are you really that insane, Elle?"

I couldn't say a word, so Effie slapped me again, and then started crying. My cheek stung, but I did nothing.

"I'm your sister, Elle. You aren't alone in this mess. I know you and Father think I'm weak and that's fine, I am."

"That's not it," I said at last. My throat hurt when I spoke and I was close to tears, but I refused to cry for Effie's sake. "You are just too much like Heather."

"And are you too much like your mother?"

I winced. I decided I preferred it when she was slapping me. "Quite possibly yes, Effie, that's the whole point. Have I even told you what's her name? Cornelia. A common, normal name for a woman like her.

She was somewhat odd, from what Father told me, even as a human. Liked to keep to herself. They still fell in love somehow and gave life to me in the process, however strange it may seem in the light of what I'm about to tell you. After Cornelia – can we just call her Cornelia? – became a vampire, which was just after I was born, she started showing her newly acquired gift. Would you like to hazard a guess here?"

"I don't know," said Effie, who was looking at me like a deer caught in the headlights, expecting the worst. And rightly so. "Something with fire, I suppose, so you have it from her?"

"Not even close. Or very close, whichever you prefer. Fire is the force of life and Cornelia was this incarnated. She was just few days old when she started bringing things back to life. Birds and cats and dogs and then a horse and one day a human. She was so very afraid and broken about it, she didn't want to be around anything living. She ran away to hide from the world, leaving me behind under Father's care, surrounding herself with the dead to keep her company. And then, three years ago, humans walked out of their graves."

I rested my forehead on Effie's shoulders and watched our hair falling together down her back, hers dark and mine very light. It looked grey against hers, like she was an old woman. She was crying and I still hadn't shed a single tear.

"Elle… I'm so sorry, so very sorry… I love you, you know that."

"I love you too. I don't want anything to happen to you and I'm afraid of what Cornelia's planning. I'm afraid it may have something to do with me. I'm afraid of what's going on in her head right now. I'm afraid Father may be in danger. I'm afraid it will never end. I'm just so very afraid, Effie, all the time."

She just held me with as much desperation as she slapped me moments before. Father wasn't right, Effie was strong, but on a different level than him and me. She had the strength to love people, not just kill for them. She had the courage it took to embrace me after what I'd just told her.

"It will all be fine," she said.

"This is the worst lie ever and you know that," I said.

"It's not a lie!," she screamed angrily through her tears. "It will be. You will see. We will work it out. In three weeks Father comes back and you can ask him everything and we will work it out."

I was admiring the conviction with which she said that. I could hear someone approaching us rapidly and I turned around, not letting go of Effie. It was Rosalie, alarmed and ridiculously beautiful, all things considered.

"It's important," she said quickly. I wasn't sure how I looked right now, but probably more fierce than anything else, because she never explained herself like that. "Something happened. Edward says there was a… split in the pack and now there are two of them. One Sam's and one Jacob's. Supposedly your wolf said 'no', which is a very big deal."

"And?," I asked despite myself. I wasn't so sure I wanted to know.

"I'm not sure," Rosalie said in the tone of voice people usually used to say 'I honestly don't give a damn'. "There is some fighting. Jacob's pack is on our, well, your side. Maybe you could come over there and distract them with another attack of hysteria?"

I thought that Rosalie was far better in distracting then I was, because I almost forgot about all my own drama in face of how annoyingly she managed to say those few sentences. I dropped my arms and shrugged.

"I suppose I still have some angst to share," I said. "Do you know that feeling when you need to share something and when you do it's just not chocking you anymore and you can do something you thought is impossible?"

"Not really," Rosalie said and Effie shook her head. "Can we go now?"

Effie used the little time she had on our way back to inform me that I have no talent for putting my thoughts into coherent sentences. Rosalie was exaggerating – there wasn't much of a fight going on. Actually, there were only seven werewolves present and they were in their human forms. I amused myself with picturing them in shirts for a change, except for Leah, who actually wore one. The Cullens, Sophia and Jayden were inside the house, from what I could hear.

"You should be fine now," Jacob said. "They're gone."

"That's good," I said. "And are you ok?"

"I don't feel like screaming at the top of my lungs, if that's what you mean."

I rolled my eyes. "All right, so it's fashionable now to make fun of my outburst. I love it how supportive you all are."

"You don't want my pity," Jacob said with conviction.

"No. You know what I want?"

Effie waved her hands in the air to indicate that she doesn't wish to know. She disappeared into the house and Rosalie followed her, not making any attempt to explain herself. Even the werewolves read it wrong, because they retrieved to the forest. I raised my eyebrows.

"What?," Jacob asked suspiciously.

"Oh, seriously! Not that! I just want to show you something."

Now it was Jacob's time to raise his eyebrows.

"Not that!," I said again. "This."

It was the first time in my life when I was so perfectly convinced that what I'm about to do must work out. I outstretched my hand, palm up. Jacob was about to ask me what am I doing, but I shook my head to keep him quiet. A small, rather shaky flame blossomed just above my hand and danced there, raising up and then shrinking again.

"I could never grasp the idea of controlling it," I said, making the fire jump from my one hand to the other, "and I think it was because I was so busy with repressing all of it that I just didn't have space in my mind. Then there was that thing with Sophia and my memories came flooding and I had to either face them or lock them up again. I decided I can't go on like that forever."

"I'm very proud of you," Jacob said seriously and I could feel a blush, even more burning than the feeling of my blood catching fire which I came to associate with using my gift. "You need to share some of that baggage of yours, you know?"

"I suppose," I said. I closed my hand and the fire extinguished. "I shouldn't waste so much time. I can practice while I wait for Father, and train."

"And what will happen when he gets back?," Jacob asked. He tried to sound casual, but he was anxious. I almost forgot about the 'i' word and now it felt heavy on my tongue, bitter. Like he was cheating on our growing friendship with some idealised version of me that he could never get.

"We will travel again. There is much to be done. If I learn how to use my gift, maybe it will be just a bit easier. Maybe it will let me live for just one more day, win just one more fight."

"I can help you practice, if you want."

"You would get burned. A lot. You may heal quickly, but you aren't fireproof."

"And are you, Elle?"

That was a good question. I just raised my eyebrows, because I really didn't know. It wasn't like I ever stuck my hand into a fireplace just to see how it feels. Vampires were extremely flammable, so I didn't wish to experiment. Then again, I never _did_ get burned, even when I lost control over my gift. I presumed it was because I was in the eye of the cyclone, but now I wasn't so sure. There was something about that thought that made me uneasy.

"I nearly forgot. What was it about you disobeying Sam? Rosalie was a bit hazy on the details."

Jacob's face fell. "Right. It was weird. Sam way using his Alpha voice on me to make me obey him and I was really going to, because I thought I had no choice. But I didn't want to. I said 'no' and it worked. Suddenly I was alone in my own head, and the others joined me. Seth and Leah and four other wolves. I guess it's because I declined the position at the beginning. It's all about family lines and so on."

"Then I'm proud of you, too. You took a stand. I highly appreciate it. Will you be in a lot of trouble back at the Reservation?"

"No, I don't think so. Sam has to think about it and he doesn't want to fight with people who just moments ago were a part of his own Pack. I feel the same way."

"Obviously," I agreed. "He will come around, you will see."

Jacob tried to smile, but it didn't quite work out. I was feeling oddly hopeful and life taught me to be wary of that feeling. Optimism was good, but hope – not so much.

"So," Jacob said. "I'll get something good for burns from town and then we can meet at my house for some… Meet outside my house for some practice, how about it?"

"That's great. Um… You don't trust me not to burn your house to the ground?"

"To be honest, no."

"Fair enough."

We all decided to use our time a little bit more wisely than screaming at the top of our lungs – Rosalie's exact words – which meant something different for every one of us. Effie and Alice, who were developing a kind of girly and giggly friendship, were spending their days together, putting down Alice's visions for future reference, with the help of Jasper. Jayden, Edward and Emmett were training Sophia in fighting and Carlisle, who spent nearly whole days in the hospital, was explaining to her the importance of self-control and not stealing people's bodies. Esme was helping out in the hospital, so I hadn't seen a lot of her.

I was splitting my days between exercising my gift with Jacob and discussing strategies, ideas and current happenings with Jayden, Jacob, Jasper and Edward. I was getting to know other werewolves and even Sam was starting to talk to me like a civilised person.

Making fun of my outburst became everybody's favourite activity. I didn't argue with it too much, because we needed some laughter.

Everything was going perfectly.

I should had been alarmed at this point.

It was three weeks after Effie and me came to Forks. I was getting restless, though I tried to preoccupy myself, and Effie was openly devastated. Even Alice was unable of cheering her up. We still had a week of time before the date Father set. We hadn't received a single message from him. I didn't really expect any, but talking about it over and over again was making me nervous.

And then Alice said that there is a vampire approaching Forks. Nobody said anything, but we all hoped it was Father – at least Effie and I certainly did. After Alice précised that it's a female we were mostly confused. Effie sighed painfully and ran upstairs, and I lost all interest, so when this vampire was within Cullens' range of interest, I didn't go with Edward, Carlisle and Emmett to check who it was. I stayed in with Sophia, who was trying to win me over by meaningless chatter.

"Elle," Edward said, walking into the living room. "You may want to call Effie. Her mother is here."

"Heather?," I asked, as if Effie had some number of mothers from which she could choose.

Before Edward had a chance to answer me, Carlisle and Emmett came back. Between them was walking an older, red-headed version of Effie. Heather was just as freckled and dove-eyed, as lovely and innocent. She smiled at me wearily and then Effie was running down the stairs, making some sort of high-pitched voice. She threw her arms around her mother. I approached them a bit more warily, because even though I loved Heather greatly, it was a mother-daughter moment. Heather gathered me to herself nevertheless.

"We'll give you some privacy," Carlisle murmured and they left.

Suddenly I realised that the only reason why Heather wasn't crying was because she was unable to. I looked at her in alarm.

"My girls, my beautiful girls," she sobbed. "We'll be fine, I'll take you to South America with me, it's all right."

"Mom?," Effie whispered. "What's wrong?"

"Oh Effie… Elle… I just found out and I came here as soon as I could. I was with Nahuel and Huilen and one of nomads brought the news. It's your Father. I'm so sorry… He was killed."

Effie could cry, and cry she did. I watched her as if from afar as she fell to her knees, gasping for air and trembling. Heather knelt next to her, stroking her dark hair. We were talking about my Father here, too, but I felt like an intruder in their grief. They knew a different Father, a caring and gentle man who protected them and I knew a determined and strong vampire whose guiding hand and commanding voice were with me at all times.

"Elle…"

"I… I have to go, Heather," I choked out.

I burst through the door, realising how often I just try to run away from my trouble. I still couldn't cry, my sadness was muffled by overpowering fright. What would become of me now that Father was dead? How was I to prevail?

I didn't much care for where I was going, just focusing on the sensation of wind in my hair and ground beneath my feet. When I felt someone approaching, I slowed down, half-hoping it was an enemy.

It wasn't. It was Seth Clearwater, in his human form, apparently on the watch duty today.

"Elle?" He looked alarmed. His big, dark eyes were honest and worried.

"My Father is dead, Seth. I have no idea what to do."

"Oh. Oh God, Elle, I'm so sorry." He embraced me awkwardly, not sure what to do. I wasn't good at being consoled, so it all evened out.

I sniffed in a very pitiable way. "I just need to sort it out."

"It's not something you sort out, Elle. My dad died, too, and it's not like it's getting more logical. Easier, I guess, but not in a making-sense kind of way."

"That's bad," I said. "I'm a making-sense kind of person. Well, I like it when things make sense, though I'm not sure whether I do. This is… I wish I could cry."

"Can't you?"

"I think the tears get burned away."

I threw my arms around Seth's neck. He was playing with a strand of my hair, trying not to look me in the eye. He cleared his throat. "I can take you to Jake…"

"I don't want to explain all of this to him," I said. "I just need to…"

I wasn't sure what I was going to say. I tried to ignore that terrible place in my head where sureness of my Father's well-being should be. I was afraid that the whole world outside of Forks was gone along with him. What was the point of it? I was waiting to get sucked into the emptiness.

"Jake likes your hair. It's sort of silver."

"It is?," I asked absent-mindedly. "Can we just… Be here?"

Seth nodded slowly. He was young, but nearly as tall as all the other werewolves. He did look me in the eye now and maybe it wasn't such a good move. He looked extremely resigned about something.

I couldn't in a million years tell whether it was me who climbed onto my toes or him who leaned down, or possibly both. We met halfway and kissed as if there was nothing else to expect in our lives. He touched my back, ribs, hips hungrily and I tried to steal some of his warmth, taste him with all of my being.

"Elle," he murmured against my lips. "We can't. Jake…"

I jumped away from him as if burned – well, maybe not _burned_ – and looked angrily at his flushed face. "He doesn't own me."

"I know, you've made that very clear. But he's my Alpha and I'm just confused. Hormones and hearing him go on and on about you in my head…"

"You fancy me, right?," I asked. I desperately needed to hear that somebody cared about me for me alone.

"You are so British sometimes, you know?," Seth smiled a little despite himself. "I like you. A lot. I think Jake knows and it's bad enough as it is. And there is no point in making it worse, because you don't like me back. It could be anyone here. You are just sad, Elle. I don't think this is the best y of dealing with it."

I sighed. Seth was right, I was acting terribly egoistic. I should use my wrath for something else, something more productive. Instead I was hitting on underage boys. I felt nauseated.

"I was being horrible, sorry, Seth."

"It's not like I strongly protested," Seth pointed out. "Can I do something to make you feel better? Something that doesn't involve us… You know."

Seth made a vague gesture with his hand, which was probably supposed to indicate sex. I kept my distance, trying not to scare him any further. He looked terribly on edge.

"Can you leave me alone now? I think I shouldn't be around people. There is something I have to do, but I don't know how to do it."

"What is it? Can I help?"

"Yes. I will need a lot of help. Waiting is bad for me. See where waiting took me? Thanks, Seth."

"Sure. Take care of yourself." Seth dropped a kiss on my forehead and left me standing alone between the trees. It felt colder now that he was gone. I closed my eyes and started counting backwards all the things I did wrong, from today to the very beginning.

We, Effie and I, were of the Duskborn. Children born on the edge of day and night, out of human and vampire, life and death. Born of the Dusk. We walked the invisible barriers, never quite belonging in neither place. Instead of being grateful for both worlds, we tried to create one for our own. Father was the only one keeping me grounded. Now I was floating, unable to stay put.

Far away, I could hear a wolf howl. Seth must had changed and Jacob listened in on his thoughts, found out what happened between the two of us. I waited for him to come and be angry with me – scream at me, call me out on my behaviour, anything – but he never did. There was just this single, long howl, and then silence.

I knew what I had to do.

"No," Effie said calmly. Heather just looked at me. I couldn't tell what she was seeing, but it made her upset.

"I'm not asking for your agreement," I said. It broke my heart, but I had to be harsh. One moment of feeling and I would break. "Heather and you will go back to Nahuel. He will take care of you. I can't have you here."

"What you can't is to be alone," Effie said. "You are planning a war here, Elle, you mean to set thing in motion in ways I can't even begin to understand. It's impossible to do on your own."

"I won't be on my own. I'll have Cullens to help me. Quileutes are willing to help, too." I knew it from Sam, because Jacob refused to talk to me. It wasn't like I didn't deserve it. I felt bad about what Seth had to go through, too, and purposefully tried to keep away from him.

"We are your _family_," Effie snapped.

"And I need you to be safe. I need my head clear. I need to know there is something out there, something worth fighting for. A reason to prevail."

"You are the spitting image of Cian, Elle," Heather said suddenly. "This is exactly what he would say. However, I'm not sure whether you realise that you aren't him. You don't owe him your death, my dear."

"No. I owe him your life, yours and Effie's. Please, listen to me just this once."

Heather kissed me on the forehead, very much like Seth did before. "You will always be my daughter, just as much as Effie is."

"Mom, you can't mean you agree with her…"

"Some of us aren't coined for this life. Elle is the eldest of our little clan now, she gets to make this sort of decisions. Say good-bye to your new friends, Effie, we are leaving today."

Effie gaped at us. Her mouth was actually hanging open and she was looking between Heather and me with round eyes. She made a sort of huffing noise and stormed out of the room. I could hear her yell something angrily at Emmett.

"Well, she took it well," I said casually.

"I didn't want to say anything in front of Effie, but are you sure? You have to realise you are waving a red flag at Cornelia."

"That's more or less the point," I said. "There is no way I can find her, she can be living in La Push or in Johannesburg. I want her to find me."

Heather winced. "That sounds a lot like a suicide mission, Elle."

That was the first time that particular, strange thought entered my mind: _I shall burn alive. _

The scariest part of it was, I didn't find that thought disturbing. I wasn't afraid of where it came from, though it did suggest I have some very dark places inside my mind. I was yearning for this to happen. Wishing for the flames to burn everything away, burn me away and leave nothing behind, not even ashes.

Effie and Heather left the very same day. Effie was still distinctly angry and Heather was mostly concerned. I wanted to send Jayden with them for their safety and then I wanted to send Sophia, just to get her out of the way, but Jayden, to whom I related this idea, pointed out that we needed all the people here and Effie went through the same training with Father that I did.

My room felt empty now that Effie was gone, but I knew it's for the best. I knew these are my last days in Forks – or my last days alive – but I kept running into walls in my head when I thought about how I should spend it. I wanted to talk to Seth, but it was clear he didn't share that desire. I wished to see Jacob and maybe talk him into playing with fire a bit more, but he wasn't talking to me. But most of all I wanted to see Father. It would all be easier if he was here to make the hard decisions for me. I missed him all the time.

How do you spend your last days?

I had many answers to that. Partying was somewhere on that list and I almost laughed out loud at how unlikely that was. Finishing the books I never had time to read. Going through my plan one more time. Annoying Carlisle by asking him over and over again to go through it again with me.

Mending my ways.

First of all I found Sophia, who was sitting with Edward, trying to learn to play chess. She gave me a very startled look when I approached her. "Hi," she said in an impressively high-pitched voice.

"Hello. I just need you to know that you are forgiven."

"Oh no." Sophia jumped to her feet and backed away. She looked at me over Edward's shoulder. "You are going to kill me, aren't you? Ed, she's going to kill me."

"I never said that! Well, not today. I'm really no longer mad at you. I hope you will use your powers for doing good."

"Ok," Sophia said slowly, suspiciously. Then she suddenly clasped her hands over Edward's arms. "Oh no, Elle's dying."

"Elle's not dying, Sophie. She's just being overly dramatic."

I ignored a sudden urge to comment on that 'Ed and Sophie' thing they had going on. It was odd to notice that people around me were going about with their lives, creating bonds and planning for the future. I had nothing to look forward to and in my experience that never led to anything good.

"Also, you were right, Sophia. I was acting like a bitch, which isn't really something I should do to people I'm asking to follow me into…"

"Into the fire?," Sophia asked with a knowing look. "I wasn't only in your body, Elle, I was in your mind. Once more, sorry about that. But anyway, you were blocking me from a place in your head."

"Quite enthusiastically, yes," I said. "Go on."

"It wasn't the only place that was kind of a no-go. When I was roaming around – um, wrong word, sorry – I saw… There is a lot of fire there, isn't there?"

"That's more or less Elle's gift," Edward pointed out and I nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, I know. There's more to it. Caged, closed, locked out or something. You should be careful."

I blinked in confusion. It certainly wasn't how I thought this conversation will go. Sophia was the last person I'd expected an advice from.

"I thought I actually got a grasp on it," I said, disappointed.

"You will," Edward said, smiling. "Don't worry. Sophie and you are getting better and better."

I looked at Sophia, who was still standing behind Edward. She was picking at his jacket, playing with some loose thread.

I wished them a good day, which earned me some disturbed looks, and borrowed Emmett's car. I was sick and tired of running around in the woods and it never ended well. I drove to the Blacks' house, happily not crashing the car. I wasn't much of a driver.

I wasn't much of an erudite, either, at least according to Effie, so I was nervous. I knocked at the door of the house and waited. After a moment I decided to take a step back, in case Jacob decided to hit me on the spot.

The door opened at last, but it wasn't Jacob who opened it, it was his father, Billy Black. He was an old Native American, sitting in a wheelchair. We never had a chance to really talk and I wasn't sure how much Jacob told his father.

"Jake doesn't want to talk with you," Billy said and went on to slam the door in my face.

"Wait!," I screamed. "I want to apologize. Beg for forgiveness. Possibly crawl."

Billy didn't look amused. To be fair, I didn't find the whole situation too funny, either. I shifted uncomfortably under Billy's scrutinising gaze.

"Stay here," he barked.

He did slam the door then and for a moment I thought he may just leave me here to rot. It was just beginning to drizzle, making me feel damp and even more miserable.

Jacob appeared after few minutes, actually fully dressed. His jaw was set, and he nodded at me sharply, indicating I should follow him. We hid beneath the roof of the garage. Jacob leaned against a wall and I perched on some spare tire.

The silence was thick and cold.

"I'm a bitch," I said.

"Can't argue here."

"I was upset, which isn't a worthy excuse, and I acted… Well, um, like an egoistic bitch."

"Can't argue here."

"I wish you stopped repeating it."

"I wish you stopped making out with my pack-mates. Whose. Thoughts. I. Share." It was hard to understand him, because he was talking through gritted teeth. His eyes seemed to be black from rage.

"I… I'm really sorry."

Jacob sighed heavily and crossed the garage to sit next to me. "Ok, I know you were upset about your dad. We all deal with grief in different ways… And you do it by being a bitch. There is no better word for someone who used a boy's crush."

"I should apologize to him, too."

"Don't," Jacob said a bit too quickly. "I'd prefer it if you didn't talk to him too much."

"Right," I agreed. "That's probably for the better. I like avoidance as a way of dealing with problems. The point that I'm trying to get across here is: I miss your company."

"Same here, but you are killing me."

"I promise to be a better friend from now on," I said, crossing my heart.

"I've heard you are on a suicidal mission, so it may be a short-lived friendship. You know we will help you out."

I nodded. I leaned over, resting my elbows on my knees. "Can we make a plan? Something I will have to look forward to after… If I…," I stuttered. I had serious trouble saying what was on my mind, but I thought if anyone was to understand it, it would be Jacob. "If I survive."

"Of course you will," Jacob said. "How about we travel? We could leave for, I don't know, Greece. Somewhere hot. We will spend whole days laying on a beach and swimming and eating strange local food. You will wear summer dresses and I will bring you fresh olives."

I couldn't help but smile. Jacob had an easy way about him that just made me feel better, regardless of how worried I'd been before. For thousandth time I wished Jacob hadn't the-'i'-word on me. It would be so much easier and better. I was starting to like Jacob and it felt like disregarding my own beliefs.

Even now, sitting so close to Jacob and just enjoying his company, there was still a part of me that remembered how horrible it felt the first time I heard the 'i' word. I knew that Jayden and Edward found it hilarious that I avoided using word 'imprint' as if it was a swear word.

"That's terribly cliché," I said.

"My life is too strange as it is. I want a cliché with you."

It was odd, but I felt a blush creeping up my cheeks.

"That would be nice, I suppose," I said. "Thanks. And on an unrelated note, I'm thinking next Wednesday."

"For…?"

"Setting off. I want to go next Wednesday, start traveling North and East, where most attacks take place. Hopefully Cornelia will notice the pattern. I know for sure that she wants me alive, that's a part of why Effie, Father and me were hiding."

"Are you sure?," Jacob asked worriedly. "It still sounds suicidal."

"No, it's fine, I'm perfectly sure she wants to kidnap me for some sinister reason." I wrinkled my nose. "Huh, who knew, it does sound rather insane."

Jacob snorted with laughter, though it was quite humourless. Not only him, but all of us had reached the point where we didn't really have the strength to care anymore. I had a feeling that when I finally meet face to face with Cornelia, I will start laughing hysterically.

"That gives us five days. What are you going to do with that time?"

"I wasn't sure how long will it take to apologize to you. I've been thinking, couple days. I was planning on camping," I said. "Right now I'm mostly concerned with what Sophia said to me. She warned me about something she saw in my mind, something connected with fire and…"

I trailed off. I wasn't sure how to say it, as I never shared it, even with Effie. Jacob wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me closer.

"One thing keeps coming back to me. I can't help it, but I hear it over and over again. _I shall burn alive. _And I can't wait for this to happen. I'm thrilled by it."

Before I had a chance to make myself more understandable, Jacob picked me up with one hand and pulled me onto his lap. At first I went very stiff, because I wasn't really used to physical contact as a form of comforting someone. Then I realised this may very well me one of my last days and Sophia's line of reasoning came back to me.

I sighed and rested my forehead on Jacob's arm in resignation. He smelled like forest and rain and he held me in a way that would probably be more appropriate if I were made of glass.

"You are just very lost, Elle. We will figure this one out on our private beach in Greece, how about it?"

"So now it's a private beach?," I mumbled against Jacob's collar bone. "Nice. Seems like something I can build on."

And so we did left on Wednesday. Only Carlisle and Esme stayed, because it wasn't fair to leave the townspeople unprotected and without a doctor at that. We had to leave the girls the wolves the-'i'- word on with them. The werewolves weren't too keen on that, but it was the best solution. They couldn't very well go with us, it would be too much risk, and we couldn't split the Pack any further to leave the wolves as their guardians. I strongly believed that I could trust Carlisle and Esme with them. I would put my own life in their hands if the need would be. I discussed it with Sam and even though he was tentative to let Emily out of his sight in those hard times, he agreed with me.

There was a small voice in my head that pointed out the hypocrisy in my line if thought: I was fine with Carlisle and Esme looking after the-'i'-words and even having my back if the need shall arise, but I couldn't leave Effie and Heather in their custody. My own family was the only one I was irrational about, my weakness even bigger than my lack of focus in times of crisis. I needed Effie and Heather to be as far away from where I was planning the fight as it was possible. It was different with them. As I said before, I needed them safe. If they weren't there, the emptiness that crept towards me since Father's death would swallow me whole. They were my anchor. I felt as if they kept not only my grief, but also the flames at bay. The fire wouldn't hurt them, either. It was on their orders. It was there to protect them.

It was raining on the day we left, which was traditional for Forks, and we went on our feet, leaving everything behind, except for camping equipment that we more or less stole from an abandoned shop in Forks. We were traveling like a mini-army, in a long column, wandering the empty highways. I was walking at the front, leading the way as if there was any direction to it all.

I noted that we were quite successful at cleaning the world from zombies. There was a lot of us, we were trained in fighting and we were determined. We were an army and I was leading the way.

_I shall burn alive_.


	2. Chapter 2

_** Book of Elaine the Firebird. **_

It was just after noon and we were camping in a forest, like we did for the good part of the last few weeks. The light was soft and green, filtered through the leaves of the trees. The camp, which consisted of couple dozens of tents, managed to look deserted. Some of the wolves and vampires were in town, searching for useful things in the shops there, and others were spending time in their tents. The only two people outside were Jacob and me.

I was sitting by a bonfire, poking the burning wood with my hand. I didn't feel a thing. No pain, not even itching. The fire was licking my skin like a faithful cat would if cat's weren't so distrustful of hybrids. It felt tingly and almost nice.

While I was sitting there, Jayden appeared out of his tent. He didn't say anything, just stood there and watched us. I decided not to start any conversation and let him stay silent or talk, whichever he preferred. In the meantime I picked up a long stick engulfed in flames and stared at it with unblinking eyes. Jacob was leaning against a tree this whole time and I could feel him watching me, too. I knew that if I look up, I'll see his dark eyes full of concern, warmth and affection.

I kept my eyes fixed on the flames.

Nothing new happened, so I dropped the stick with an exasperated sigh. I was trying to figure out what Sophia meant ever since she told me about the fire in my mind. I had whole days to do it, minus the moments when I was sleeping. There was nothing to do when the zombies weren't active.

"What are you people doing?," Jayden asked at last. "It looks like a serious fire hazard."

From the corner of my eye I could see Jacob shrug. He was still uneasy around vampires, though he seemed to have nothing against Jayden. I liked him, too, even if he was a bit rough around the edges.

"I prefer to call it training," I said.

Before Jayden had a chance to answer me, Alice stuck her head out of her tent and chided in in her sweet voice, "We are going to have visitors."

"Guests?," I asked, jumping to my feet. I was alarmed. Could it be today? Had Cornelia found me already?

Jayden was looking at something around my knees and I followed his gaze involuntarily. The flames were licking at my shoes now, reaching towards me. It still couldn't hurt me. It didn't even scorch my sneakers. I decided it will be best to ignore this.

"No, it's fine, Elle. They are our friends. I think they are curious about you."

Alice sneaked a quick look at the fire and then smiled brilliantly, apparently deciding to ignore it, too.

"And why is that?," I asked again. Jacob stepped closer to stand behind me and look in a threatening manner at anybody who may turn out to be a danger. I knew that hybrids were unimaginably rare, but it wasn't the best time to come over and satisfy curiosity.

Still smiling, Alice gestured to the fire and me and then the whole camp. I had no idea what she meant. We were worth seeing because of our tent-setting skills? Sometimes I had a nasty feeling that Sophia understood all of it better. Sometimes I pondered on letting her into my head once more, just to see what else she can figure out.

Others started gathering around, possibly after overhearing our conversation. Privacy was a luxury when one lived with vampires and werewolves. I didn't have any great secrets I wanted to keep, but still, sometimes I wanted to just chat with Alice or Rosalie about trivial matters and not worry that the whole camp will know that sometimes I miss wearing a well-fitting bra more than I miss sleeping in an actual bed.

Emmett, Jacob and me went ahead to greet our guests and, at least in my case, find out what do they want from me. As we were leaving, Sophia appeared at Jayden's side, chatting excitedly about the newcomers. Edward followed her, but declined my proposition to go with us.

We met the newcomers after less than ten minutes of running. Emmett knew them beforehand, too, so he made the introductions. They were five vampires – four females and one male – and called themselves the Denali Coven. It consisted of pale-haired Kate, strawberry blonde named Tanya, Irina, whose hair was almost the same silver tone as mine, black-haired Carmen and her mate, equally olive-skinned Eleazar.

Tanya, who was the leader of the group, greeted me and said, " We heard about you and we took off as soon as the news about your whereabouts have reached us."

We headed back to the camp, where everybody waited for us, even those people who were in town just half an hour ago. If I didn't know better, I would think that Edward wasn't the only telepathic one in our group. The speed with which information travelled was just unnatural.

"That's nice, I suppose," I said warily. "I don't wish to sound impolite, but I didn't mean it to be a circus show that people will want to come and see with their own eyes."

"No," Tanya agreed. "You want to take a stand and we want it, too. Let us help, Elle of the Duskborn, we can be of use to you."

"This is my war," I said, probably sounding like a stubborn child. I was aware that the wolves from the Black Pack were taking positions that allowed them to keep me in sight at all times. I was very well guarded and in turn I tried to take a position in front of Jayden and Sophia, just in case. I trusted the Cullens, but I wasn't so sure about their acquaintances.

"No, it's not," said Kate. "It's ours just as much as it's yours. We just needed someone to take that first step. Lead the way."

I gaped at her in the most ungraceful way possible. I didn't take that step for anybody else but myself. It wasn't supposed to affect others. If I knew I could do it alone, I would leave the Cullens and the wolves behind, too.

"I can't forbid you to tag along," I said at last, unhappy.

"Sure, the more, the merrier," Emmett agreed, grinning. It was impossible to kill his spirits. "Though less zombies for me to kill."

"It's agreed, then," Tanya smiled at me. "Oh, nice to see you, Edward."

She turned to look at him and he smiled at her, maybe just a bit more tentatively. I couldn't help but notice that she lost all interest in the conversation in favour of staring at him in awe. I supposed Edward _was_ very handsome, with his perfect jaw and bronze hair, but I tended to forget about it. He was a friend, a brother almost. Plus, even without admiring Edward I got distracted too often.

"And who is your little friend?," Irina asked.

There was something a bit off about the way she accented the word 'little'. She looked straight at Sophie, but talked about her as if she wasn't there. I didn't like it. I narrowed my eyes at her.

"This is Sophia, my new-born," Edward said. "And this is Jayden."

"Your new-born," Irina said, ignoring Jayden completely. "She does look young."

"She was fifteen when Edward changed her," Jasper said. Ah, so that was what it was all about! The law. It was odd to know that there were people who still cared. When I was keeping out of humans' sight, it wasn't from fear of the Volturi, but from common sense. Plain and simple.

"I don't think the Volturi care anymore," Rosalie said, voicing my thoughts. "You don't see them doing anything with this whole mess, do you."

Jayden looked at us all quizzically. He couldn't possibly know who the Volturi were – the vampire who changed him, Joyce, didn't have much time to explain him all the laws of the vampire world before she got killed by zombies. Edward moved closer to him and whispered into his ear, literally reading Jayden's mind for the unspoken question, "The Volturi are like the rulers of the vampire society. They make the laws and make sure those who don't abide them get punished."

"So you don't know," Eleazar said. "The Queen of Death is in Volterra, she stands alongside with the Volturi. They formed a truce."

A chill went through me. Partially it was because my mother – and Cornelia was it, however I liked to deny it – had been dubbed Queen of Death, but mostly because Eleazar just gave me a vital piece of information. Everything clicked and started to make sense. Dark, terrible, macabre sense.

Suddenly our plan wasn't to blindly hike through forests and abandoned towns until someone will notice the pattern and think that maybe I am the one behind all of this. We weren't to wander – we were to march at them. And when you march, you need an army.

"Of course it's all leeches' fault," Leah snapped. "We could've expected that."

Rosalie twirled around to glare at her and the newcomers went rigid.

"Language, Leah," Jacob said.

She couldn't argue with him when he used his Alpha Voice, so she went silent. Leah was a bitter, though very strong woman. Whether I wanted it or not, I knew her story and I strongly sympathised. She was getting better now that she didn't have to share her thoughts with the man that she loved and who left her for her cousin. I bet she wished for the privacy, too. We never talked much – she didn't chat with vampires, or leaches, as she called us, and we did get off to a rough start.

"Perfect," I said. "Seems like you will have your great battle after all, Emmett."

"You want to attack the Volterra?," Jasper asked.

"It is a well-guarded place," Edward said, in my opinion pointing out the obvious rather skilfully. "There is a reason why the Volturi haven't been overthrown."

"I bet we can do it," Seth said. "We can, right, Elle?"

It was the first time in a long time when he addressed me personally and even though it wasn't a good moment to gloat, I felt victorious.

"Maybe they haven't been overthrown because a firebird has never looked at them with its wrathful eye."

"A firebird?," Sophie echoed somewhere behind my back, fascinated. "A phoenix! That's what I saw!"

Everybody just stared and Eleazar smiled at her as if she was a good student who deserved to be praised. I was dumbstruck, unable to move or think straight.

Firebird.

_I shall burn alive_.

"You walk between minds, don't you, Sophia?," Eleazar asked. "My gift is to see what gifts do others have."

"That's cool," Sophie said. "How does mine _look_ like?"

"Later," I interrupted her, though my voice was soft and it came from far away even to my won ears. "What do you mean, a phoenix?"

"So you don't now," Eleazar said again, teasing me. He looked happy about something and his mate, Carmen, shared his excitement. All the others showed different shades of confusion and some of the wolves openly discussed what the fuck a phoenix is in the first place.

I knew the legends, of course, about a bird reborn from flames, but this comment was so random I didn't know what to think.

"There were others like you before, Elle of the Duskborn. Others with the power to command the flames. You are carrying a seed inside you and it grows as you feed it with fire. One day it will break and it will give birth to a firebird. It is only up to you whether it will kill you or lend you its power."

"I shall burn alive," I said, this time out loud. The words were burned inside my mind, bright and vibrant.

Jacob put a hand on my shoulder, but I shook my head, not sure what am I denying in the first place. I just knew that I don't agree, that's all. He was far taller and looked as if he could break me with just one arm, encircle my waist with his fingers, but I was the one who was a ticking bomb. Seth was looking at me with his mouth opened wide, possibly remembering that he kissed me and now I turned out to be _this_, and Alice was staring at me in something like frustration. She couldn't see any hybrid's or werewolf's future, however desperately she wanted.

And I was sure she wanted to see that. Not me burning alive, hopefully, but that creature being born. I touched my chest, wondering if it's already inside me, growing like Eleazar said. I caught Edward eye and was grateful that he pretended not to hear my thoughts.

"Yes," Eleazar said simply.

I nodded at him absentmindedly. My head was spinning.

"We will need an army," Kate pointed out.

For some reason it felt good that she said 'we'. I didn't even know these people, but I was glad to have them here. They were allies. They were friends.

"We will have an army," Alice promised.

She was right.

The very next day vampires indeed started appearing. They were coming from different parts of America and sometimes not only from there. No distance seemed to be too big. They had heard about me – which was a scary, disturbing thought – and wanted to see if it's true. Wanted to find out if a child of mortal mother and immortal father really wields fire. Wanted to follow me, for some unimaginable reason.

Soon our camp was stretching for a great distance. I was afraid to the point of panic. It was way too much for one person. Most of those vampires were older than me, yet they were fine with discussing strategies with me and actually _listening_ to my orders. I wasn't certain about the word 'orders' here, I was only fine with calling them 'suggestions'.

I was almost never alone, so I didn't have any time to dwell on all of it. It wasn't too good for me and it was plainly visible. Everybody wanted something from me, wanted me to lead them, to make the choice.

And who was I to make it for them? The fact that there was something very dangerous, something impossible inside me didn't make me a good leader. If anything, it made me a threat. I was afraid to ask Eleazar if others can also get hurt when the 'hatching' will take place.

One day I just couldn't take it all anymore and I got back to the old habit of running away from trouble. I wasn't proud of it, but I told Jacob to stay in the camp and went into the town giving everyone a false excuse that I wanted to pick up some clean clothes. This caused Alice to insist that she wants to go with me, but at last I managed to get away from all of them.

I sat on a bench by the main street. I looked up, at the grey sky. I thought easy, calming thoughts, like when was it going to start snowing or how were Effie and Heather doing.

I don't think I had more than three quarters of an hour to myself before Jayden appeared. I hadn't seen much of him since the Denali Coven joined us. I wasn't really craving any company, be it his or anybody else's, but I wasn't going to chase him away.

He sat next to me on the bench.

"So, what's up?," he asked with false cheer.

I straightened up and looked him in the eye. His dark hair was dishevelled and a bit wet.

"I can't believe all those vampires came here just to… I can't believe it," I blurted out.

And here I was, the old me with serious troubles when it came to proper articulation. How was I to lead the masses when I could hardly say one of my friends how I really feel?

"They need someone to follow, Elle. And I think you fit the role," Jayden said.

My heart have a leap. I sighed softly and looked ahead. There was a shop on the other side of the street and inside it I could see human corpses, rotting. I actually managed not to pay any attention to them. In the last three years I'd gotten used to decay and death. I hated it. I wanted to fix the world, wanted so badly to make it all better.

"I just wish I could actually do something, besides just being for the sake of symbolism. The thing is, I don't have enough courage to go to those people and tell them that I want them to come with me to the Volterra. How are we even supposed to get there? There are about sixty vampires and werewolves here."

"That's just logistics. I think you are postponing taking off on purpose."

Jayden looked straight through my excuses. I couldn't tell whether I liked him for that more or wanted to smack him.

"Possibly. Jay, I miss the times before all of this and I hope I can make them come back… For all of you."

"I don't know if you can."

I felt as if he slapped me. It was one thing for me to not believe in myself, but for him to express the same lack of trust so blatantly out loud? It hurt, but it was for the better. A cold shower. What was I thinking?

"We aren't the same people, and we can't go back to that, Elle," Jayden said silently. "We can build something new. And this you can do."

I almost sighed in relief. On one hand I didn't want to lead them and on the other I wanted them to trust in me. It was odd and once more I didn't understand myself.

"And what would you like to build? Just so you know, having a private island is already booked by Jacob and me."

Jayden grinned, but it quickly turned into something that looked like a lockjaw. I looked at him worriedly. That was bad. My head raced as I tried to guess what could possibly be so bad as to make him that angry.

Suddenly, he straightened up with a determined expression. He made up his mind.

"Elle, I'm gay."

I just stared at him. From all the things he could possibly say, this was the last I would ever think about. Jayden closed his eyes as if waiting for a blow and I wondered how to handle it.

I didn't mind him being gay, that was not the issue here, but I was pretty sure that I was the first person he had told it to. I wasn't good with handling this sort of things. When it came to romance-related business, I was the last person on Earth to give advice.

"All right," I said at last. "It certainly is a very roundabout way of answering my question, but all right."

He opened his amber-coloured eyes and looked at me. I was actually grinning now, mostly despite myself. Jayden hugged me to himself and I threw my arms around his neck. He smelled sweetly, like all the vampires did, but I could also smell the forest in which we were camping. Jayden was cold to the touch and suddenly I was reminded of the fact that Jacob was just the opposite.

"Thank you for telling me," I murmured.

"Thanks for not calling me anything unprintable."

"Don't be silly, Jay. Why would I call you anything?"

"My high school 'friends' did," Jayden said and I winced. I'd never actually been to any school, it wasn't a possibility for Effie and me, but I could imagine how it felt to be ostracised for something. I was, in a way.

"You know you still have to tell me what you are hoping for, don't you?," I asked, trying to lighten the mood.

I decided I spend too much time with Rosalie. Her trademark stubbornness started to show in me, too.

"Fine. As you wish. Here goes. I hope that, by some miracle, Edward will fall for me. Fuck, I sound like a woman."

I managed not to stare. I straightened up, but he didn't let go of me, just loosened his grip. If anything, it was a great distraction from my own dark musings.

There was no need to point out that Edward was probably into Sophia. I didn't have much time to dwell on private lives of the people in my camp, but I noticed some things, like the way he said her name, always kept close to her, even changed her himself.

It must had felt terrible. Jayden basically brought Sophia to Edward and she was still his only friend from his hometown, the girl that he tried to save from the dead, including himself.

"Well, you two do have a kid together and all. It just has to work out."

Jayden glared at me. I had to admit I wasn't too supportive. It sounded more like I was channelling Effie than speaking for myself.

"Anyway," Jayden said. "I'd appreciate it if you let it go now. And also, nice way of changing the topic. You know you have to figure out how you want to do it, right? You've made the first step, Elle, and there is no going backwards, only forwards."

"I know that," I said. "Just… I'm a coward."

"I think the problem here is rather that you are all talk and not actual action. Sad truth, Elle. Do something about it. You have all the tools handed to you. Use them."

Maybe rough treatment was exactly what I needed, because suddenly it all clicked in my head. I looked up at the sky one more time and then jumped to my feet, pulling Jayden behind me. It was exactly the way our friendship started, with one of us always pulling the other one along, never leaving each other behind.

"Come on," I said.

"Where?," Jayden asked, a bit worried, probably thinking that I'd lost my mind at last.

I had actually just made up my mind.

"Back to the camp. I have something to tell everybody. Come on, before I change my mind again."

This worked like a charm. I actually had trouble with keeping up with Jayden, he ran so fast. We were back between our tents in a matter of minutes. I wasn't exactly gasping for air, but my heart was pounding faster than ever. Charlotte and Peter, friends of Jasper's, looked at us in confusion.

"Is everything all right?," Charlotte asked.

"Oh, certainly," I said.

And then I whistled on my fingers, for the old times' sake. The deafening sound hurt even my own ears, so I was sure it carried far and wide. Vampires and werewolves started coming out of the tents or from between the trees. They were all looking at me, as I was standing in the middle of the clearing considering whistling again if the need should be.

"Again?," Jared asked in disbelief. "Why do you keep doing this?"

"To get your attention. See, it worked."

I counted the people, making sure that everybody's here. I wasn't sure I could say the same thing twice. Jacob took his usual place behind me. It gave me comfort, though I knew it shouldn't. I shoved that though away, instead focusing on the now.

"I decided there is no point in waiting anymore. Everybody that was supposed to be here is here. We are leaving tomorrow at sunrise. Don't take anything that you don't need. The planes from Los Angeles were still flying three months ago, though for horrendous amounts of money."

"We can contact Carlisle and…," Edward began.

"That would take too long," I said. "We will steal a plane. The law forces are basically non-existent and anyway, I don't think it's so important now to be a good citizen."

"That's the spirit," Emmett grinned.

"That's great, but can you actually pilot a plane, Elle?," Sam asked.

It was a good point. I looked at the faces of the vampires. A few of them raised their hands. That was what I really enjoyed about vampires – they had unlimited free time at their hands and they used it to acquire the most random skills. I was pretty sure that if I asked about piloting a space ship, the outcome would be positive, too.

"We will land as close to Volterra as possible. I don't think we can count on surprising the Volturi, so there is no point in sneaking around."

"So what, we will run at the Volterra, screaming?," Rosalie asked.

"Not really. They will let me in. Cornelia wants me there."

"I doubt she's stupid enough to let us all in, though," Kate pointed out.

"No. I don't think you will like the plan."

I related it to them and they indeed didn't like it. I got called insane a few more times and Jacob looked as if I was aiming a gun at him. Well, they said from the very beginning that I was suicidal.

The firebird was to burn and even if I wasn't to survive it, I had to make sure that the flames will take Cornelia with me. I owed it to those people. They trusted in me even when I didn't trust in myself.

_I shall burn alive. _

I went back into the town soon after that and found some house that didn't have any corpses in it. Jacob went after me and I didn't stop him, though I did tell him not to talk about what we were going to do tomorrow after sunrise. I imagined myself that there in fact is no tomorrow, that the sun will never rise.

Jacob sat in an armchair and hid his face in his hands. "I could lock you away," he said in a dead voice. "Keep you in a tower, like those princesses in fairy tales."

I stayed silent. I knew that he wasn't to blame when it came to the whole the-'i'-word thing. He didn't choose me. And if he could, he certainly wouldn't. I put him through hell and I was going to do something even worse. I asked Sam about it – when the-'i'-word… No. When the imprint died, the wolf was worse than dead. Hollow, broken.

"I'm ok with you hating me, Elle. I can deal with it. But I need you alive. I need you. I'll take whatever you'll give me."

I couldn't give him anything. I had nothing anymore, just the fire inside me, and it was not a gift I wished upon anybody, so I just sat there, on the couch in front of a TV that will possibly never again work, with my legs crossed and my hair falling forward, hiding my face.

"I love you," Jacob said. "Not because you are my imprint. That was different, instant. I grew to love you, watching you and talking to you and seeing all your weaknesses, all your strengths… When you are reckless and when you stand up for others. When you can't cry and when you smile at me. I think I always knew you are somewhere out there and I just waited to meet you." He looked at me and his eyes seemed black in the near darkness of the room. The drapes were pulled shut and I was grateful for that. This way I could pretend I was somewhere else.

"And what about our private island?," Jacob asked and though he tried to smile, all he managed to produce was a painful grimace.

"You can still have it," I croaked out. My voice was leaving me and my throat was painfully clenched.

"Leave me orders and I will follow them, but that's all. I will go mad, Elle. I beg you. I'll do anything you ask of me, you don't even have to ask, just… Don't die. I love you."

I couldn't answer him with the same. There was no feeling left inside me, let alone love. The fire was slowly burning it all away. My wish was coming true. There were just ashes and I could almost feel them in my mouth.

All I could do for Jacob was to give him the last thing I had left. I rose from the couch and his eyes followed me. The hunger in them was making me tremble.

I crossed the room until I stood just in front of the armchair. I bent my knee and rested it on one side of Jacob's legs and then straddled his lap. He wasn't even blinking at this point and there was something sacred about this moment. If any of us said a word, something terrible would happen. The illusion would break.

I leaned in slowly and planted a single kiss on Jacob's lips. They were soft and burning hot, feverish, almost like the fire inside me. Jacob let out a strange sound, something between a sigh and a gasp. I joined our lips together again and this time there was nothing chaste about it.

Jacob kissed me roughly, his tongue demanding entrance. I couldn't – wouldn't – deny him and he pulled me close, clasping his fingers on my hips. His mouth moved to my jaw and then to my neck, sucking and biting and leaving marks.

I tugged at his t-shirt and he raised his hands obediently, letting me pull it over his head. For once I was actually happy to see his chest exposed in front of me. I started tracing the muscles with my fingers, memorising the hard lines. I pulled off my own sweatshirt and then unhooked my bra and threw it to the floor.

Jacob straightened up, looking first at my face, and then down, at my exposed breasts. He traced a line underneath one of them with his thumb, very gently. The admiration in his eyes was almost too much – he looked at me as if he'd never seen anything more…

"Perfect," he murmured and it wasn't just something boys tell girls. He really believed that.

I gasped, because he moved suddenly, bending his back and sucked my nipple into his mouth. His hand clasped on my other breast and I threw my head back in sudden surge of pleasure that ran through me. His mouth, his skin, his fingers – all of it was awaking something in me, something I forgot could even be there.

I shifted my hips involuntarily and suddenly I felt Jacob's hardness pressing against me. Jacob _growled_ against my breast and there were just too many clothes in the way. Jacob must had realised that, too, because he stood up without any warning, picking me up with him. I reached down and started fumbling with the button of his jeans.

Jacob dropped me to my feet and I used this opportunity to kick off my shoes. He undressed swiftly and picked me up again. Maybe he was aiming for the couch, but there was no time for that. We fell to the floor, kissing and touching. I landed on my back and Jacob pulled off my jeans and panties in one movement. His patience was wearing thin.

Be bent down again, kissing a trail down my stomach. My back arched and I almost regretted that I wasn't able to look at him, but then he kissed the inside of my thigh and all logical thinking was forgotten. I closed my eyes and searched desperately for something to sink my nails, teeth into as Jacob's tongue made lazy circles around my core.

It was just too much to stand. I needed more of him, closer to me. I grasped at Jacob's short black hair with my fingers and pulled him upward until our faces were just an inch apart. I kissed him and he tasted like me.

Jacob looked me straight in the eye. The intensity, hunger and fire were all there and I was sure they were mirrored in my own eyes. Jacob entered me slowly, just memorising my face. I felt his length filling me and I gasped for air and the moaned loudly when he started to move.

He dropped his forehead to the place where my neck was meeting with my arm. I clawed at his back until I drew blood, locking my ankles behind his back.

There was just Jacob and pleasure and fire, until my body couldn't take it anymore. I cried out, raising my back from the floor. Jacob was gasping my name out in an unending prayer.

When the world and air came back, Jacob rolled onto his side, leaning on his elbow. I rested my head on his shoulder and he stroked my hip slowly, not ready to let go.

"I love you, Elle," Jacob said.

I looked around us. The room was growing colder now, though the carpet was burned in few places and the room smelled vaguely of burned wool. I was already almost regretting what I did. It was egoistic of me and though I tried to convince myself that I did it from Jacob, I wasn't sure if this memory was going to make coping with my loss easier or just the opposite.

I kissed Jacob for the last time, pressing our lips together, trying to leave my mark, a token, something that would protect him. When I pulled away, the light that shone in Jacob's eyes when we were making love was gone. I stood up, picking up my clothes and dressing hastily. It felt like sneaking out from a one-night stand's house.

Soon Jacob followed in my footsteps. "So it doesn't change anything?," he asked.

I didn't say anything, but he guessed the answer anyway. I wasn't looking at him, but I could hear his voice catching in his throat.

We'd cleared the town from zombies, so there wasn't much for me to do but to await sunrise. I headed towards the stairs, deciding to look for some room where I could do that and stay out of Jacob's way, but he stopped. He caught me in half and brushed my hair away from my neck.

"Wait," he whispered softly into my ear. "Let's find some bed. You need sleep and I could use some rest, too."

I sighed silently. It felt good to be in Jacob's arms and I couldn't believe I'd denied it to myself for so long. However selfish it was, it felt just too comforting. I turned around and encircled his neck with my arms. Jacob picked me up and threw me over his shoulder.

I laughed, not expecting this sudden change in the mood. Jacob turned his head to kiss the skin of my side that got exposed in the process. He carried me upstairs, opening one door after another, until he found the main bedroom. He threw me onto the bed with a little bit more force than was necessary, but the mattress was soft. Jacob threw himself next to me, with his hands behind his head.

I fell asleep with my cheek on Jacob's chest. I gave up. It was my last night and my last act of selfishness.

Another long night was coming to an end and the sun was slowly rising above the horizon. We watched it, our faces turned towards the brilliant colours of dawn. We were standing in the middle of the abandoned town of ghosts where only dead were rotting – all of them victims of my mother's madness.

We turned South and set off. We ran in silence. It turned out that when you had so little time to tell everything you wanted, you couldn't decide on anything and in the end didn't say anything. I was pondering what I had to do and all those unresolved matters we left behind.

I looked at the faces of the people that came to be my family and tried to guess how many of them will die because of me.

We reached Los Angeles the next day and soon it became clear that I was wrong. The military base around the International Airport that I remembered from my last visit still had all the heavy equipment in it, but no people.

No living people.

The fence no longer had electricity running through it and was torn apart. Our group went through it and I tried to stay calm. When was the last time I'd actually seen any humans apart from those in Forks? Sudden realisation of my own naivety dawned upon me and it made me dizzy.

"She led me here," I whispered to Jacob, looking unblinkingly ahead, at mangled corpses that would rise again come night-time. "She kept Forks untouched, she knew Father will send me there…" I tried to swallow the bile that was choking me. I raised my voice and said, "Rosalie, Emmett, Carmen, check the planes. I bet you will find one of them is ready for flight. Hurry up, though. I'd hate to keep my mother waiting."

"Are you ok?," Jacob asked gently.

"Of course I am."

"Of course she's not!," Sophia snapped.

I shook my head at her and followed Leah, who was heading towards the plate of the terminal where Rosalie, Emmett and Carmen went. Emmett was waving at us, standing on a wing of a white plane. Planes always looked like sea creatures to me.

I was busying myself with mundane details, like the fact that he found a captain's hat somewhere and was now using it to signal us. If I just didn't think about all of this, I would be fine. I wouldn't stray from my course. I couldn't afford the luxury of doubts, I had to be strong for all my people who watched me. If I wavered now…

The door of the plane was standing open and though there were no stairs or any other way to climb there, it wasn't much of a trouble. Vampires could easily jump that high and so did the werewolves. I couldn't, but Jayden helped me out.

Randall, a nomadic vampire that joined us very soon after the Denali Coven, was the one to pilot the plane. He had some sort of an army background and was a very honourable, dedicated man. In the cockpit he was accompanied by Mary whom he'd met in the camp. Mary looked ten years older than him and spoke about ten words a day.

The flight, Randall said, was to take roughly ten hours. It turned out that it won't be enough if I just sit there, looking out of the window. People asked me questions. Wanted to repeat the plan with me. Wanted to just hear a good word.

What I wanted was to fall to the floor and scream. I checked in the window to see if it was visible in my eyes. As soon as that thought crossed my mind, Edward took the seat next to mine. Originally it was Jacob's, but he was busy with his Pack.

"You look awfully pale," Edward said so softly I could barely hear him.

"It's my first time on a plane. And my last, judging by the look of things," I said.

"Do you have to be so fatalistic, Elle?"

"I consider myself an optimist. I believe I can take her down with me," I said. "You have to admit, that is quite optimistic."

I wished this flight would be over.

I wished this flight would never end.

"I don't think you are meant to burn down," Edward said after a long moment. "Just… to burn."

"I hope I'm not meant for anything. It never ends well, being meant for something."

"That's a new one. I thought everybody wants to be meant for great things. And what about being meant for somebody, or somebody being meant for you, whichever way you prefer?"

I could tell that Edward tried not to think about what we were about to do, too. I was grateful for the distraction.

My mind provided me with Jacob's name almost at once. He was meant for me, that was the whole problem, and I didn't want to take him. If only I could be sure that with me gone he will get his freedom back…

"That's a scary thought," I said.

"Is it? I think you are scared of getting attached to anything. I'm sorry, I know it's a bad moment to say something like that…"

"And aren't you scared?"

His eyes flickered to the rows of sits in front of us. It was just for a split second and he shaded his eyes with his eyelids, but I saw it nevertheless – because I was looking for it. Sophia was sitting there, her short hair sticking in all direction. She was reading a magazine that she must had found somewhere on the plane. On the seat next to her was Jayden. His head was resting against the window and he seemed to be asleep, though a vampire could not sleep.

"It's not her, is it?," I asked in a moment of sudden realisation.

Edward winced. I couldn't quite read the grimace on his handsome face, but I was sure there was some anger in it.

"There are some boundaries that you are overstepping here, Elle."

"You wouldn't say that if it was her," I insisted. "You'd want to talk about it. You'd be proud. But it's not, so you snap at me like that."

"Elle," Edward growled. "Can't you let it be?"

"Hardly. Do you remember Effie?"

"Of course. What is this about?"

"You do. Effie is my sister, though we don't have the same mother. Heather? Heather is my mother, though she wasn't the one to give birth to me. And Sophia there? My little sister. And Jayden? My brother in everything spare for blood. You know that feeling, do you not, Edward?"

"Yes, obviously yes, but what are you talking about?"

"We chose our family. You chose to follow me. These are things of great magnitude. Why can't you take another step and choose who you want to love?"

"Like you've chosen?," Edward asked.

"It's not my fault I don't love him…"

"It's your fault you are using him."

"Consider it my dying wish," I said and I could see he was as hurt as I was a moment ago, when he pointed out my latest sin.

We fell silent after that and I felt bad. I didn't want to leave any bad impressions behind. I wanted to be remembered as someone… Someone I wasn't, clearly. Maybe history will work as a bleach on all my dirty secrets.

Waiting was excruciating. Hours stretched unbearably and I tried to use all of it to feed the burning inside me. The fire was taking shape and the egg was close to hatching, I could feel it. It wasn't like something was inside my body, no, the presence was in my mind. Alien, but close.

About one lifetime later, the plane finally landed. Randall didn't make the landing too smooth and my teeth clashed violently together and Edward, who stayed in the seat next to mine, cursed under his breath.

I jumped to my feet almost at once and headed for the door, but Jayden caught my wrist.

"They are waiting outside," Alice explained.

"Of course they are," I agreed. "I shall go to them, then."

"Wait," Jayden said. He dropped a kiss on my forehead. "I'll see you soon?"

I just smiled at him sadly. I knew we wouldn't see each other again, but it was too much to say it out loud. I turned towards Alice instead and hugged her. I memorised all their faces, people I'd just met and some I'd known longer. _My_ people.

Edward almost crushed my bones when he hugged me and whispered, "I trust in you, Elle. Sister."

Jacob didn't say his goodbyes. He just looked at me and said, "Don't do this to me." Just behind him I could see Sophia, touching her temple with her finger in a manner of conspirators. Whatever was that supposed to mean, I didn't get the message.

"Be safe," I said simply. I brushed Jacob's cheek with the back of my head and wished for the last time during this infernal flight.

Let him come in one piece out of this whole mess. Let him forget me as soon as I draw my last breath. Let him forgive me. Let him be happy.

I turned away, said my personal goodbye to my own life and opened the heavy airplane door.

"You took your time, Elaine," said a dark-haired, tall, lean vampire, looking up.

I jumped down, onto the ground, repeating in my head not to look back, not to turn around. There were two men here and a very young, very small girl, waiting for me. As soon as my feet touched the ground, the two men flanked me, clasping their hands on my shoulders in a light warning. They led me towards a car, which was entirely black, and more or less shoved me inside. The girl sat next to me then.

"I believe introductions are in order. This is Jane," said the lean man. "This is Felix, and I am Demetri. We are part of the Volturi Guard. We will take you to your mother now. You must be excited to see her after so many years."

My mother was in South America right now, hopefully as far away from here as possible without leaving planet Earth. I sneaked a glance at Jane. She must had been even younger than Sophia. I'd never met the Volturi myself, luckily, but I'd heard enough from Father. She was probably the girl who could cause pain just by wishing it upon others.

"Do you know why she wants me here?," I asked casually.

It didn't really matter anymore, but the silence was ringing in my ears. I rubbed my wrist subconsciously. Just beneath the skin, blue veins were clearly visible, thin lines, nothing worth mentioning if it wasn't for the fact that what was running through them was no longer blood. It was liquid fire, leaving nothing in its wake. There wasn't much of Elle in me at this point and whatever was to take my place told me to keep going.

"Don't you?," Jana asked. "Well, you don't seem too bright…"

_Bright. _She will see more brightness than any vampire should, though maybe not in the way she meant. I tried to breath evenly and calm myself down. I had to contain the firebird just long enough to get to Cornelia.

"Humour me," I said.

My voice must had been as strained as my nerves, because it caught Demetri's attention. He turned in his seat, putting his arm around the headrest. His eyes – and Jane's and Felix's, too – were red. I couldn't remember when was the last time I'd seen a vampire who fed on human blood. It was just too rare, too precious, everybody realised that.

"You don't happen to have… motion sickness?," Demetri asked carefully.

"No," I said curtly.

"I've never seen a hybrid, you see. I believe Cornelia said there is something inside you that seeks its way out… And if she can bleed you out beforehand, she will gain immeasurable powers."

"She will butcher you," Jane said with dark satisfaction.

"I understood it the first time, yes. Are we far from Volterra?"

"Running towards your death, aren't you," Felix said suddenly. "You are all insane."

"Perhaps," I said and then fell silent.

Talking was too much at this point. I choked on that last word and it took all my self-control not to double over in sudden pain. Where the fire hadn't burned everything in its wake, spikes of ice were piercing through me. My teeth began to chatter. Even burning inside, I was still cold. I needed more flames.

The car stopped and Demetri had to drag me out of my seat, because I could hardly walk. I was weak and cold sweat was running down my back, but my throat was parchment-dry. Through the haze of my fever I could see the town of Volterra and magnificent castle towering over it. We took some very round-about route, but I could still sense humans. Humans, going about with their lives. The sounds were so unlikely that I was half-convinced it was my mind, playing tricks.

We went through underground, dark canals. I was trembling visibly at this point, but my guards decided it's because of fear. Jane even made a few dry remarks about it. The only thing I was afraid of was that I may not manage to reach my destiny in time. I dragger my feet through sarcastically well-lit lobby and then suddenly we were in a round, great chamber with ceiling so high it was bathed in shadows.

Felix, who was holding me by the elbow, shoved me forward and I fell to my knees. I leaned heavily on my hands and found out I couldn't straighten up. I raised my head and looked in the eyes of the woman who made my life a slow, painful fall.

Maybe I was like Cornelia in her insane determination, or maybe not, but we certainly could be mistaken for sisters more easily than Effie and I could. Cornelia was slender and alabaster-pale, with silver hair falling on her arms, down her back, past her waist, to her knees. She was dressed in a red dress the colour of her eyes and was half-smiling, half-staring in childish amazement. There were dead accompanying her, animated even though it was daytime. She could do that only in her immediate proximity.

Cornelia was the first person I looked at, but it was clear she wasn't the most import one. No, this role fell to the three kings of the vampire world, our _leaders_. Two of them were black-haired, shorter Aro and taller, perfectly indifferent Marco. The third one had hair almost as pale as his skin and his mouth twisted into a cruel grimace when he looked at me.

There were other vampires here, too, members of the guard. I counted seven, including the three that brought me in. It didn't matter much.

"So this is your daughter, Cornelia? I must say, she looks rather… sickly," Aro said with a leer that made me even sicker than I already was. "Introduce yourself, child."

"I'm Elaine Middleton," I croaked out. "Elle."

"Elle the Duskborn," Cornelia said dreamily. "Elle the Firebird. My little miracle. Life born out of death, far more complete than my other children." She gestured to the zombies and I almost gagged.

She was completely and utterly insane and Aro saw that, too, it was evident in the way he looked at her. Cornelia was useful, but a nuisance nevertheless. I could feel the fire extinguishing and I gasped in panic. Now that I _wanted_ the firebird to consume me, it was gone.

I rose shakily to my feet and straightened up. Fine then. If I was to die, I would at least die standing. At the hands of my own mother.

"You were searching for me," I said. "Demetri said you want my blood."

"Blood of the firebird, yes," she agreed cheerfully. "Blood of a child born of life and death. Aren't you happy, my sweet? That's what you were born for. To make your mother stronger. To help me prevent people from dying. You will die for utopia."

"Utopia?," I echoed. "These creatures, they aren't humans they once were…"

"And are we?," Aro asked.

I shook my head in disbelief. It was ridiculous. A house of madmen.

"Why did you kill Father?," I asked.

Cornelia looked taken aback. Her smile faltered for a moment, almost as if she regretted it.

"Cian… Ah, my sweet Cian. He shouldn't have kept you away from me. I miss him, you see, but a vampire can't be brought back as one of my children."

"Enough talking," Caius drawled.

I actually agreed with him. This wasn't taking us anywhere. There was no point in trying to talk some sense into Cornelia. She was too far gone.

"Just kill the child."

Something, a flicker of emotion went through Marcus's eyes and I hoped this was what I thought it was. I crossed my arms over my chest and raised my chin. I could hear Jane snort, but I ignored her. I was beyond caring about humiliation.

"Just don't spill too much blood," Cornelia said.

All air escaped my lungs as Demetri kicked me in the kidney, making me fall to the ground again. I turned around and jumped at him, baring my teeth, but he just laughed and kicked me in the ribs. Something snapped and I wailed like an animal. Another vampire, a big and terrifyingly strong one, Santiago, picked me up by the neck. I moved my lips, trying to speak despite the pain, and he slapped me across the face.

"Wait," Cornelia said. "Let her speak."

"One more thing," I mumbled around the blood in my mouth. "I need to hear just one more thing."

"Her dying wish," Aro said.

I got an awful lot of those, but I nodded. Santiago dropped me and my leg gave way under me.

"It could be anybody standing here, couldn't it? Anybody else, if only they were like me."

"I… believe so," Cornelia agreed slowly.

I nodded again. This was all I wanted to know, all I needed to make sure that this woman was a stranger to me. She had no esteem for life and, however paradoxical it sounded, I was fine with dying for it. Throwing it all away so that others would get a chance. I had more than my fair share anyway.

I closed my eyes and looked inside me, found every missing piece. There were voices around me, but all I could hear was roar of fire in my ears. When I opened my eyes, the world was aflame. The fire was all around me and I was in its heart, free at last, finished. I raised my arms and the firebird spread its wings.

"Ah," Cornelia sighed. "Pretty, pretty, pretty girl is on fire."

And I did burn alive, but as Edward foretold, I didn't burn away. I was forged in the flames of my own decision, white-hot, a new blade.

"_Do_ something!," Aro yelled.

Jane snarled, ready to do his bidding. All she had to do was look at me and unimaginable pain went through my body. I was being torn to shreds, exploded from the inside. I shrieked and the firebird screamed, too. _I_ was the firebird.

I reached towards Jane. My feathers just brushed her face, softly like a kiss, but she screamed even louder than me and suddenly her hair, her clothes, all of her was aflame. I watched her run towards the door, fall to the floor, her brother jumping to her aid, Demetri restraining him.

I turned towards Cornelia now. She was smiling like a fascinated child with a new toy. Aro tried to pull her towards the door. Caius was running, too, and Marcus was already gone. I stretched my arms towards Cornelia.

"Last embrace," I said and my voice was just crackling of fire.

Though Aro yelled at her and yanked her wrist, Cornelia raised her arms, trustful. The fire reached its blazing fingers toward her and the last thing I saw were her red eyes, soft despite their colour.

Then the whole world exploded in flames. High above my head windows shattered and rained down on me in a shower of glittering shards and everything that was left were flames, flames, flames.

I felt a sharp pain in my cheek and then dull ache all over. My mind was a haze and I couldn't tell who I was, where I was or what were these voices I heard.

"Elle… Elle…"

"She's not waking up. This isn't good. Slap her again."

My eyes fluttered open in self-preservation. There were people leaning over me, looking at me worriedly. I identified the one who voted for slapping me as Jayden. I wanted to snap at him, but then I saw that Rosalie's hand was already raised. Of course.

Relief flooded me so suddenly I nearly cried. They were alive and apparently I was alive, too, because I strongly doubted in any form of afterlife that included being eternally slapped by Rosalie Hale. I sat up and felt something odd beneath my hands. I looked down. The stone floor was solid, but one could tell it melted before.

"Are you all right, Elle?," Alice asked softly.

"I… That's a hard question. What happened?"

"Give me your hand," Edwards said and when I did, he pulled me to my feet. I hissed silently, feeling my ribs. The world was spinning and I was rather hungry, but apart from that, I seemed to be perfectly fine. Physically, that is. "Here you go. Now come, I'll explain you everything on the way."

"All right." I looked around the chamber. It looked, well, just like after a fire. There was some white, glittering powder on the floor and I knew this is all that remains when a vampire is killed. Edward led me through the corridors of Volterra.

There was a human in the lobby, cowering in fear behind her desk. It was a young woman with tea-coloured skin and dark, shiny hair. Jacob was trying to calm her down, but once he saw me he crossed the room in a few long strides and stood before me. He took me in, his eyes dark and flooded with relief, and then fell to his knees. He encircled my knees with his arms and sighed, resting his head on my stomach.

"You are alive…"

"We aren't done yet," Edward said. "We still have work."

Jacob let go of me tentatively and I stepped away from him. I wasn't sure what to do now, with Jacob and everything else, too, for that matter. I wasn't really betting on surviving, so I never made plans beyond what happened in that chamber. I still wasn't ready to name that.

"Come, Elle," Edward said. "We modified your plan a bit as we went, but the general idea remained. Sophie changed bodies. Apparently, she jumped into Marcus, who doesn't care to the point that he hadn't alarmed anybody, even though he had enough discipline to push her away, or at least that's what she thinks. She took off as soon as the whole disruption started and ordered the guards to let us in. Before they had a chance to wonder about it, you turned the throne room into a blazing hell. You took Caius down, and Jane, Felix, Renata, Chelsea and Santiago. And Cornelia, of course. We killed a few more and the rest we imprisoned. We waited for you to come about and make a decision."

"Make a decision," I said softly.

"Yes. What to do with them."

"And… Our people?," I asked a bit vaguely, but he understood.

"We have been sparred, mostly, but I'm afraid not entirely. Boris didn't make it, and neither did Randall and Charlotte. We also lost Collin."

I nodded in silence. There was nothing I could tell in this situation. Their blood was on my hands, but at least it wasn't a meaningless death.

Edward led me to some underground rooms, most likely dungeons. Almost all of my army was here, guarding what seemed to be the remaining vampires of Volterra. When I walked in, some sort of commotion started and Sophia appeared at my side.

"It's not my fault," she said quickly, which was the best proof that it in fact was.

I looked at the cause of the tumult. Four wolves were trying to contain Marcus and they had some serious trouble with that. Aro in turn looked to be shell-shocked. When I walked in he turned his head towards me and stared ahead in an unblinking, empty manner.

"What's going on?," I asked.

Marcus went still and Leah stumbled forward a bit.

"This is the new order," Marcus said. "And you are the new queen. It is of no importance to me. You may kill me if you wish to, but I pledge my loyalty nevertheless."

He fell to one knee and I just stared down at him. For some reason I could feel a blush in my cheeks.

"I ask for just one more thing, my queen. Let me kill Aro."

"What," I gasped. I was certain I didn't look like a queen right now. _Queen. _That was beyond my grasp. I wished to free the world, but never to rule it. The fact that I didn't in fact die was proving to be more and more problematic with every minute.

"I jumped bodies a bit during the fight," Sophia said. "And the memories just sort of surface, so I've seen a bit. I was in Aro for a moment – ugh, that never sounds right – and I saw the beginning of the Volturi, because Aro was thinking about it. And he remembered how he killed Didyme, his sister and Marcus's mate. He didn't want anything to distract Marcus and she used Chelsea ever since to make him loyal."

"That's just fucked up," Jayden said, walking in behind me. "But still, we can't exactly let him run around."

"For so long I didn't know who killed my mate. Now I wish for vengeance so that I may rest in peace," Marcus said. He was a totally different person now that anger animated his face. No longer a statue. "It is your choice, my queen."

"Don't call me that," I said weakly.

"You are just that," Edward said with a small smile. "You've overthrown the past kings and the Queen of Death."

"That's… Let's leave the nomenclature for a moment, we have more important things to do and discuss. Let him go."

"But…," Jason began.

"Let him go."

Marcus rose in one fluid, graceful motion and turned towards Aro. He at last woke up from his daze and he screamed in a piercing voice. He tried to back away and people gave him space, dragging all the rest of the prisoners towards the far wall. I stared in daze while Marcus tore Aro to shreds with a sickening sound that I knew only too well. Aro didn't even put up much of a fight. I turned my head away only when Edward tossed Marcus a zippo lighter and he fiddled with it for a moment, trying to figure out how to work it.

"Whoever wants to join us, will be granted that chance," I said over the sound of crackling flames. "Edward will read your minds to see if you are being honest. I believe now that Chelsea's influence is gone, you may experience some new… ideas. The remaining Volturi…" I nodded at Sam and he nodded back.

I turned around and left the dungeon. I came back to the lobby and sat on the desk. The woman behind it was a bit less frightened now and was listening attentively to Jacob, who was explaining her the situation.

"Help them in the dungeon," I said to him.

"What will happen with me now?," the woman asked me in a heavily accented voice.

"And what would you like to happen?," I asked back. "Things are changing here… I don't know your name, I'm afraid."

"I'm Gianna… Miss. I just hoped to one day be a vampire. You aren't one, are you? You are Elle the Firebird, that's how the Queen called you. Jacob says you killed them… But how is that possible? They are immortal."

"Immortality is an overused word, Gianna. Later on, a vampire will come here and he will question you. If you answer truthfully, you will become a vampire. For now though, I have some work for you. Are you good to work?"

I just realised that it would only be natural to be deeply shaken by the latest events. On the other hand, Gianna was probably a witness to far worse things in the last years. She probably had some extremely high stress resistance.

"Sure," Gianna said unexpectedly brightly. "What is it that you want me to do, miss Elle?"

"Your telephones and computers still work, right?," I asked, peering at her desk. "Very well. I need you to call every vampire you to contact every vampire you can get a hang on. Find out what is happening and let them know what happened here. Call Carlisle Cullen in Forks and tell him to get here as soon as he can. Last but not least, ask around about Effie Middleton and her mother, Heather. Can you do all that?"

"Easily. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"No. Or, actually, yes. Are there other humans working here? Get them to clean up the throne room. The dust…" I trailed off. It was impossible to tell one vampire from the other in that state and what did it matter, anyway? "Collect it and burry outside of town. Do humans of Volterra actually realise…?"

"About the dead walking? Yes. They were kept in the dark for years, but after the Queen came here…"

"Fine then. Tell them the issue has been dealt with."

It was only then that I realised I was tired beyond words. I was glad that Sophia probably already told everyone what happened, so that now I didn't have to go through all of this again. I sighed heavily and wondered what to do now.

There was absolutely nothing. I closed my life and now that I suddenly had it in my hands again I was at a loss. It was ridiculous and I realised that. Now that I let myself think about it, I could feel every blow Demetri and Santiago had dealt to me.

"Is there anywhere I could lie down?," I asked, standing up and wincing at the same time.

"The vampires mostly don't have beds… You can try my room." Gianna explained to me exactly how to get to her room and I made my way – slowly and hissing the whole way – towards the elevator. The remaining fire was leaving me now and I could feel my body all too well again. I knew that my bones will eventually mend themselves, but it took some more time than for the wolves.

In the elevator, I leaned heavily against the door and more or less fell out when they opened. The door to Gianna's room was open, thankfully. I didn't think I had enough strength to even break the lock. I stumbled inside and fell to the bed. It wasn't the smartest decision and I swore under my breath.

I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling in the darkness of the room. The night was falling and the dead weren't rising. I would feel pride if I wasn't so tired.

I drifted in and out consciousness for a long time. Once or twice I could hear some voices outside the door and someone saying sharply that the queen is asleep. Finally hunger woke me up for good and I sat down carefully. There was no pain, so I straightened up with more enthusiasm and then stretched like a cat.

Now that I paid attention, I was sure there was someone outside my door. I could hear soft breathing, which made me certain that it wasn't a vampire.

"Hello?," I called out and the door opened at once.

I expected to see Jacob walking in, and I wasn't disappointed. I was glad to see him, but at the same I feared the conversation that had to happen now. Gianna walked in after Jacob. She was carrying a small package that she dropped onto the bed next to me. She made something of a curtsey and left quickly and I almost smiled. It was good to know I wasn't the only one who just didn't know how to act in these new circumstances.

"You have been here for four days now," Jacob said, sitting next to me. "I waited outside your door. Carlisle said not to wake you up, because you need the rest, so I kept everybody away from here."

"Um… What have I missed?," I asked awkwardly.

"Chaos, mostly. Marcus says, and I quote, that he can't recall the last time Volterra was so lively."

"I suppose he will have to get used to it," I said. "Wait. I just said that, didn't I? I never thought… I will stay here for now. World has to be set straight again."

"I guess," Jacob said. "They are waiting to see you, you know. Gianna brought you some clothes."

"They know how I look," I said grudgingly.

"Maybe they think you've changed somehow."

"Have I?"

"I don't know, have you?"

There was another question underneath this one and I read it from Jacob's eyes. He wanted to know if what I said during our only night together was still true. It was and it made me feel sick with guilt.

"Not in that aspect, no. I'm sorry, Jake, I really am. I wish I could control how I feel, but it just doesn't work like that. I can't be with you."

"But you can use me, this is fine? When I first saw you… You were so pretty and innocent. If I only knew how cruel you are, I would gouge my own eyes out, just to never look at you."

I tried to say something, but Jacob shook his head.

"Shut up, seriously. This is all I wanted to tell you. If you have something you want from my Pack, give me orders through somebody. I don't care. If you are able to do just one good thing for me, stop talking to me. Pretend I don't exist. There are things even imprinting can't make me do, so leave me. Let me be."

_Let him be save. _My own words echoed inside my head, mingled with Jacob's as I watched him leave. He turned in the last moment and I hoped against all hope, but all he said was, "Someone will get you to the throne room… Your Majesty."

His voice wasn't cold or angry. It was perfectly indifferent and the way he said the last two words made me flinch uncontrollably. It would be better if he'd hit me. I preferred physical pain to that dull ache I felt now, impossible to place, impossible to fight with any medicament.

There was no logical reason to watch me so closely now that Cornelia was gone, but I had no strength to ponder on that. I stood up and spoon around, hitting the wall with my fist. It felt better for a moment when my knuckles burned with the impact, but the relief was only momentarily. I took the package with me to the adjoining bathroom and closed the door behind me. My hair smelled of smoke and it was the least of my troubles. I scrubbed myself clean of all the dirt that accumulated since we left America. I showered in scalding hot water, wishing it could burn away this terrible memory inside of me just like the fire burned away all my doubts back in the throne room.

The package contained, most notably, a dress. A gown, really, made of softest silk. Whoever chose it didn't have comfort in mind. I guessed Alice. I struggled for a long moment to get into it and then I stepped in front of a mirror, wondering briefly when as the last time I had seen my own reflection.

It didn't matter much, because I certainly never looked like this. Even in the rather anticlimactic interior of the bathroom, the gown was impressive. It was golden, with glistering top covered in what I presumed to be crystals or maybe even diamonds. The skirt fell to the floor in folds of heavy silk that whispered softly when I moved. My hair _did_ seem silver against it, cascading down my back. I allowed myself a small smile that made my blue eyes sparkle and wondered in amazement at the way in which underneath it all I was still a woman, able to forget about the worst things when confronted with trinkets. I stepped into the shoes, the first high heels I'd worn in years.

I walked through the room to the door, where Marcus was waiting patiently. He took a quick look at me, though he didn't comment, just led the way. We went back to the throne room and for a moment I felt a surge of irrational panic, remembering the last time I was here. The doors were closed and there were guards in front of them – Leah and Seth, both in black cloaks thrown rather haphazardly over their shoulders. The insides of the cloaks were lined with some material that made them look aflame – sometimes they were golden, sometimes red.

"Alice made us wear it, she says…," Leah began, but Seth shushed her.

"Your Majesty," he said, almost without a giggle. I pulled a face at him, but then he and Leah pushed the door open and my face fell.

I was gone just for four days, but apart from the melted floor, the chamber changed beyond recognition. The main change was that, as Marcus said, there was quite a crowd here. Most of the people I knew, but some of them were new faces. Others, on the contrary – I knew by heart.

Effie nearly knocked me off my feet when she threw her arms around me, almost deafening me with her steam of chatter. She wasn't angry with me for once, which was good, and she was fine, which was brilliant.

"Can she do that?," Seth asked, following me.

"I'm the queen's sister, I can do whatever I damn please," Effie said, but she let go of me.

Heather was just behind her, smiling and looking as if she was about to cry, repeating proudly, "That's my daughter, my daughter!". Next to her was Esme, and then Carlisle, all their children, Jayden and Sophia, and the Denali, Jacob's Pack, Sam and his wolves… It felt like a dream, and a very good one at that. They all hugged me and someone picked me up, someone whispered something into my ear, something that sounded like "I knew you can do it, Elle!", someone started clapping for some reason or another.

Dazed, near tears from happiness, I walked towards a _throne_, there was no better way to describe the high-backed chair that was placed by the wall opposite the door. As I was passing my family, my friends and some total strangers, they were inclining their heads. Carlisle smiled at me brilliantly, proud of me, and I smiled back, suddenly feeling better.

I took my seat and wondered if I should say something. Whatever happened, I was still as hopeless with words as I ever was, especially under pressure. I clenched my hands on the armrests and waited for the awkwardness of the situation to settle in. To my relief, Carlisle stepped out of the crowd and approached the throne.

"How do I address you again?," was his very first question.

I snorted with laughter and raised my hand before Gianna, who just opened her mouth, said something very embarrassing.

"I was meaning to address this. My name is still Elle and I feel best being called just that. All of this is just… A bit overboard. Now, to the more important matters?"

There was a lot of things we had to discuss. Jayden was right, there was no coming back to who we once were and how the world once was. We had to build it from scratch, begin anew. It was a momentous task and I was willing to undertake it.

It was just like they said. It was easier to conquer the world than to rule it. It was easier to burn down than to burn and fuel something great with the flames.

I decided to take that challenge, or maybe it was decided for me, I didn't know. All I was certain of that day, sitting on the throne in Volterra, my new home after years of wandering and fighting, all I knew for sure was that I was someone else entirely from the Elle that I was at the beginning of my journey.

Elle the Firebird. The girl who burned alive.


End file.
